Stop lying; everyone has. Time for a trip to the pawn shop.
Pawn shops have become way more mainstream over the past couple of years, with catchy jingles and flashy ad campaigns. You can even live the dream and own your own pawn franchise. But in the midst of all this awesomeness, some people still don't respect the treasure chest of gems waiting for them in a mostly abandoned strip mall in Hopkins. That's why this week we took a trip down to Pawn America to check out the top five coolest things you could pick up at the pawn shop.
[jump] 1) Coco Dolce chocolate jewelry box
Any a-hole with a credit card can buy jewelry for that special someone in his or her life, but nothing says, "I want to put my gift in your mouth" like a jewelry box made of chocolate.* Perfect for the fine chocolate connoisseur and edible gift wrapping enthusiast in your life.
(*Also an acceptable answer: Blow on them Dice! the debut album by Las Vegas Finest. You'll get it in a second.)
2) Fine artwork
Are you a fan of football, but afraid of violating NFL copyright policies? The good folks at Pawn America have got you covered! Pick up this elegant Budweiser bar mirror, proudly displaying a noncommittal purple football helmet, with a shout-out to "Minnesota Football." Are you supporting the Vikings or the Chaska Hawks? Who cares?! It's GAME TIME thanks to Pawn America!
3) Rare music
If you're like me, your two favorite CDs growing up were Las Vegas Finest and Women of Country. Mind-blowing music news: These two titans of music are together at last! Pick up the hip-hop quartet's classic first album, Blow on Them Dice! (get it now?), or switch things up with the pure gold collection of Women of Country. Who says CDs are dead? Not Pawn America!
4) My So-Called Life: The Complete Series on DVD
Poor Brian Krakow. Just when it looked like he was going to finally get his shot with Angela, they go and cancel the show. Still, thanks to our friends at Pawn America, you can relive the magic for just $14.99. Rickie, Sharon, and even Tino are back, just in time to...holy shit is that a martial arts sai?
5) Martial arts sai
That's exactly what that is. Sitting right there next to Claire Danes, just begging for me to buy it and start cleaning up the streets like a ninja. Never in a million years did I think I would see something so awesome at a pawn shop. That was the most badass of all the Ninja Turtle weapons! I mean, the only thing that would be cooler than that would be if they also sold samurai swords, right?
I love you, Pawn America.