Whether you’re a man, woman, or child, there’s one dream that every American has in common: becoming an American Ninja Warrior.
Over the past several years, ninjas like Kacy Catanzaro and Joe "The Weatherman" Moravsky have become household names thanks to their incredible acts of athleticism and no-fear attitudes.
This weekend, you’ll have the chance to witness ninja history live and in person, as the first-ever Conquer Ninja Warrior Competition takes place in Eden Prairie. Adults and kids of all ages will take on some of the same insane obstacles you’ve come to know and love, including Cannonball Alley, the Unstable Bridge, and, of course, the dreaded Warped Wall.
While killer strength and cardio are important in completing the course, talent alone isn’t going to help you break through to ninja stardom. That’s why we’re sharing three tips to make you stand out among the competition, and set out on your own 15 minutes of fame.
Tip #1: No shirts EVERHere’s the sad truth about most of the ninja bros you see on ANW. They’re kind of losers. A lot of them live with their parents and have shitty low-level jobs, and basically spend all of their time playing on the jungle gym in their backyard. However, there is one thing that nearly all of these dudes have going for them: crazy-ripped upper bodies.
When you have biceps, pecs, and those weird lower abs (commonly known as “sex lines”), who cares if you have a “job” or “money” or “goals”? You’re crazy-ripped! Don’t make the mistake of letting the world think you’ve got nothing under the hood: pop the top and get that cheap applause from the ladies who love ninjas!
Tip #2: Steal that spotlightLet’s just say that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. both decide to take on the competition, but one of you sort of sucks at it. Don’t let that stop you for offering up hot tips from the sidelines! Take “Mighty Kacy,” Kacy Catanzaro, for example. She’s undoubtedly the most famous ninja of all time, thanks to her pint-sized frame but massive success on the course. TV commercials, viral videos – Kacy has it going on.
Oh, and her stupid boyfriend was on the show for a hot second too.
Ninja reject Brent Steffensen had participated in the competition in the past to moderate success, but was basically another faceless muscle-head among the crowd. But once his girlfriend defied all odds and made it to the end of the course – the first time any female competitor had accomplished such a feat – Steffensen quickly climbed the scaffolding to make sure he could butt in on his lady’s moment.
The key here? Even if you don’t win, just make sure you snag some sweet, sweet spotlight.
Tip #3: If all else fails, go nakedThe greatest ANW run of all-time was performed by a guy who was not officially supposed to run the course, and ended up killing it before being dragged down by security.
Sure, it later came out that this dude was actually a professional course tester, but it still took balls (pun intended!) to go for broke in the nude. Remember, moments are quickly fleeting, but naked moments will live forever on the internet.
Whether you’re looking to participate or spectate, be sure to visit the Conquer Warrior Gym website, and get ready to embrace your inner ninja this weekend.
IF YOU GO:
Conquer Ninja Warrior Competition
Saturday, Feb. 27
Youth Competition: 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.; Adult Competition: 12 p.m. - 5 p.m.
Conquer Ninja Warrior Gym
Free for spectators