How am I supposed to get any work done with all this hot content floating around?!
Here’s a roundup of the funniest tweets of the week from the local comedy scene, all unrelated to anything in the news.
First, standup Cory Rosen is struggling to find material…
Acme regular Derek Henkels found enough creative juice to pitch a show to Twitter (we really hope this airs):
I used to write "write jokes" in my to do lists. These days it's usually just "think about comedy?" Idk what I'm doing— Cory Rosen (@CoryRosenTwit) April 10, 2016
"Got your test results back, and.....we're gonna have to amputate." - Dr. Shark M.D. coming this fall.— Derek Henkels (@derekhenkels) April 11, 2016
Standup John Thomas took to Twitter to describe what it’s really like to be a comedian:
Meanwhile, standups Kate McCarthy and Turner Barrowman hashed out some political material:
I average two free drinks and a side of cheese curds a day. I'm living the life my dad wished he had.— John Thomas (@CacklePunk) April 8, 2016
9/11 was not an inside job.— Kate McCarthy (@DaCalql8r) April 10, 2016
It was an "inside voices" job, please be quiet, some of us are trying to get work done around here.
Keep it going for the troops. Make sure to tip them well at the end of the night.— Turner Barrowman (@turnerbarrowman) April 7, 2016
All joking aside, PssyCtrl co-host Rana May and standup Jakey Emmert provided a little insight on how comedians view romance:
If you were bullied as a teenager I'm 50% more likely to be attracted to you.— rana may (@rana_may) April 7, 2016
Finally, stand-ups Chloe Radcliffe and Drew Janda had the two funniest food one-liners this week:
Just found out one of my former romantic rivals is now into meth. Meaning he's gonna be even skinnier than me than he was before.— Jakey Emmert (@Jakeyin612) April 11, 2016
Sure everyone LOVES goat cheese, but when I try to sell my dog cheese they shut down my puppy mill— Chloe Radcliffe (@chlosephstalin) April 8, 2016
If I'm not supposed to drink mouthwash then why does it come in this tasty burning flavor— Drew Janda (@drewjanda) April 8, 2016