First, let's take a look at some Valentine's Day woes.
Things might be looking up for standup John Thomas, who made a slight improvement from his previous 'tines.
I'm drowning in self pity instead of self pity and booze for the first Valentine's Day in years so CONGRATULATIONS TO ME
However, old habits die hard for the comedian, who co-hosts The Answer at Acadia.
At least Thomas is not one of the self-congratulating boyz that comedian Sam Wilbur is talking about.
But really, if someone's willing to bring some $14 'scotch' out to Roseville or something hmu— John Thomas (@CacklePunk) February 15, 2016
Leave it to Rana May (host of Donut Party open mic) to sum up our Valentine's Day empathy:
Saddest thing I've seen on the web has to be the guy who posted a picture of the flowers he got his gf and, "I did pretty good this year".— BrainCum (@BrainCum) February 15, 2016
Forget romance; did standup Senthil Rajasekharan go to the Walker's Winter of Love show?
Today lots of us walked the fine line between being supportive of our friends in relationships and accidentally proposing a three way.— rana may (@rana_may) February 15, 2016
Standup Patrick Susmilch is looking forward to a new justice for the millennial generation.
There's literally nothing more boring and phony than someone being outraged about liberals celebrating Scalia's death— Raghav Mehta (@ASAPGhav) February 13, 2016
Once again, May sums up our sentiment exactly:
We need a party Justice who will teach the Supreme Court how to cut loose— Patrick Susmilch (@PSusmilch) February 15, 2016
So forget Kanye, Scalia, and Valentine's Day; let's celebrate the present with Welcome Mat; Open Mic host Cory Rosen.
Why was everyone so afraid to say mean things about Justice Scalia before he died?— rana may (@rana_may) February 14, 2016
Big thanks today to all the presidents for being on money— Cory Rosen (@CoryRosenTwit) February 15, 2016