The 86th Academy Awards drinking game: Let's get ripped, just like the stars

This Sunday night is Hollywood's biggest and most glamorous pole dance, the Academy Awards. There will be awkward red-carpet interviews, tiny jewels worth more than your yearly income, kinda-sorta funny (but not really) send-ups, and a Death Montage guaranteed to be very depressing.

Once again, we've put together a drinking game sure to spice things up between the boring speeches, the commercial breaks, and the long wait for the big wins. Looking to party in public? We have two recommended shindigs at the end of our list.

See also:
The 2014 Oscars predictions show! Plus, Liam Neeson forever kicks ass [podcast]

Take a sip or a hearty swig:

If Jennifer Lawrence shows up looking like a Disney princess... or a marshmallow.

If Lupita Nyong'o shows up looking amazing (a guarantee).

Determine what the "color" of the night is going to be (red? emerald green? glittery beige? silver?),  and drink whenever you spot a lady on the red carpet or onstage in that color.

If someone says, "I'm the Captain now."

Anytime Emma Thompson does her "I'm so drunk right now" schtick. Bonus sip if she throws a shoe or jewelry or takes an item of clothing off.

Anytime they cut to a reaction shot of J-Law laughing manically at whatever is happening onstage.

If Leonardo DiCaprio brings his mom and they cut to a shot of her.

If you've actually seen any of the animated shorts.

If you know what Philomena is about

If Angeline Jolie does anything that will most likely result in a meme (hello, leg).

Drink if host Ellen DeGeneres dances onstage (a lock).

Anytime a celeb dramatically pauses to put on eye glasses. So intellectual! So classy!

Anytime a celeb is obviously trying to ignores a camera guy right in their face.

Anytime a lady is dressed like an Oscar (gold dress with slicked-back hair).

Drink if Jared Leto shows up with a wet "man bun," or his hair looks better than everyone else on the red carpet.

Toast: If Cate Blanchette wins and makes any mention of her close friend Philip Seymour Hoffman.


Finish your drink:


Anytime they cut to a shot of Barkhad Abdi in the audience. Cheers to a local boy making it big!

If there is a split between Best Picture and Best Director awards (highly likely this year).

If American Hustle sweeps.

If Cate Blanchette doesn't win for Blue Jasmine.

If Pink flies around all acrobatic style like a boss.

If Jonah Hill wears his fake teeth from Wolf of Wall Street (he probably won't, but they were pretty funny).

If Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa actually wins an Oscar.

If presenter Kevin Spacey does a House of Cards-style aside to the camera and breaks the "fourth wall."

Break/Sober time (same as last year):

If the head of the RIAA comes out to lecture folks on the vile ills of pirating: Leave the room. It's time to refill those drinks, refresh that bowl of popcorn, check your cell phone, take a bathroom break, or have a dance-off to some music you pirated in college.

The 86th Academy Awards airs Sunday, March 24 starting at 6 p.m. Do you prefer to watch the Oscars out on the town? Here's two events worth looking into:


Go Posh:

The 21th Annual Oscar Experience Minneapolis
Featuring a red-carpet walk, trivia, cocktails, and a live screening of the big show.
5 to 11 p.m.
$40; $125 VIP
More info at

Go cheap:

Oscar night at Brit's
Brit's Pub
1110 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis
With drink specials, popcorn, movie trivia with John Cosgrove, Oscar screening.
5 p.m.

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