Thanksgiving miracle: Target's taking a 6-hour breather before Black Friday


You're reading that right, sweet, sweet Bullseye: Target is not asking employees to work from midnight to 6 a.m. on Black Friday. Target

Thanksgiving: What's it all about? 

Turkey, certainly. Family, absolutely. A misleading narrative about genocidal Europeans playing nice with Native Americans? Kinda. But, in recent years, Thanksgiving is mostly about the late capitalistic ballet of bozos to stampeding over one another in pursuit of discounted TVs.

On Monday, however, Target Corp. announced new hours that push back against frothing consumerism ... at least for six hours. This year, unlike in years past, the Minneapolis-based retail giant won't stay open all night following Thanksgiving dinner. Instead, the stores will close at midnight, wait six hours, then re-open for Black Friday. 

You won't any proletariat-speak about familial togetherness and respecting workers in Target's PR messaging: This is a pragmatic, trend-driven shift. 

"Target’s new hours accommodate guests who make Black Friday shopping part of their Thanksgiving tradition, and reflect when the retailer has seen the most shopping in its store for the past several years."

Will there be sick deals? There will be sick deals, and they'll begin before the stuffing even cools. Here's a bunch of shit you can buy

Elsewhere, in Bloomington, Mall of America's policy is kinda, sorta less corrosive to families hoping to gorge and watch football -- together. Richfield-based Best Buy hasn't announced its Thanksgiving/Black Friday plans yet, but it closed stores during the overnight hours the past couple years. 

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