Ten movie items we'd love to own in real life
By now every hipster nerd out there has probably seen and coveted Nike's super-limited-edition Air MAGs, based on Marty McFly's kicks from Back to the Future II (if not, procrastinate for a few minutes by checking out the commercial here). Production of the shoes was limited to only 1,510 pairs, which were auctioned off via eBay with all proceeds going to the Michael J. Fox Foundation. They sold for around $5,000 each to folks like Kanye West, Kid Cudi (who bought four pairs), and San Francisco Giants relief pitcher Brian Wilson (who was seen sporting them in a bullpen covered in discarded sunflower seeds, baseball diamond clay, and dip spit, no doubt sending legions of sneaker freaks into hysterics). When the digital smoke cleared, the auction raised a staggering $5.7 million for Parkinson's research.
A truly worthy cause, but real talk? Those shoes are butt ugly.
Honestly, unless you're one of those aforementioned celebrities, chances are, you're gonna have a rough time pulling off that look in public. You might as well be rocking a pair of astronaut boots with your jeans. And good luck seeing those things survive a Minnesota winter.
That said, here's hoping the trend continues, because there are plenty of clothes, accessories, and home decor inspired by movies that everyday schmos actually could use or wear. For example:
SCHWINN PRESENTS THE PEE-WEE HERMAN BICYCLE
Minneapolis is already the number one biking city in the county (still burns, doesn't it, Portland?). So, people might as well flaunt it with the greatest bicycle ever created. Sure, customs have been built, but for those of us who grew up pining for this ride from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, this thing's gotta be mass-produced.
THERMOS PRESENTS THE NAVIN R. JOHNSON
For anyone who was born a poor black child, had their wildest dreams come true, and then lost everything, but simply wanted the extra-best thermos money could buy all along, consider this production with stripes and a cup built right in. It's all you'll ever need...along with a chair...and a paddleball game...and a remote control...
WRESTLE JAM '88 for the Nintendo 3DS
If you miss the days of 8-bit graphics and blindly button-mashing your way to victory in classic NES games like Pro Wrestling, here's hoping the folks at Nintendo are working hard on this game seen in The Wrestler, featuring Randy "The Ram" Robinson in happier -- albeit pixilated -- times.
Look at those awesome graphics!
NEW ERA PRESENTS THE BAD NEWS BEARS 59FIFTY HAT
Yeah, you could settle for one of those crappy replica hats online which are basically Halloween costumes, but those of us who have collections of 59Fiftys demand only the best, so come on, New Era! The streets need an authentic Bears lid like the kids are wearing in The Bad News Bears (and if you can add a "Chico's Bail Bonds" commemorative patch to the side, all the better!).
ADIDAS PRESENTS THE ZISSOU LINE
There have been several custom-made sneakers from the Team Zissou Adidas seen in The Life Aquatic. But why stop at just shoes? Open up a whole line of track jackets, swim trunks, and, of course, red knit hats. But let's hold off on the standard-issue glock since most buildings around town won't let you in with one (thankfully).
NORTH FACE PRESENTS THE FARGO POLICE DEPARTMENT PARKA
It's about to get really cold here soon, and you're gonna need a heavy jacket to battle the elements. Show off your Brainerd Pride with a replica B.P.D. parka as seen in the Coen brothers' classic film Fargo (but please, try not to overdo the accent while you're wearing it, yah?).
LOUIS VUITTON PRESENTS THE DARJEELING LIMITED LINE
Louis Vuitton actually did produce a line of luggage identical to that seen in The Darjeeling Limited, but discontinued it several years ago. Now's the time for a re-release of the series for those of us with a few thousand bucks to blow on a toiletry bag.
PLANET DOG PRESENTS THE BUSY BEE LINE
For anyone who's ever had to deal with a stupid, helpful pet-store employee who tried to sell you a stuffed parrot or a fish with a bee pattern when really YOU JUST NEED A BUSY BEE!!! comes this line of Busy Bee-based dog toys, as seen in Best in Show (catalog only).
FENDER PRESENTS THE NIGEL TUFNEL AMPLIFIER
It's surprising that Fender has never mass produced an amp that goes to 11, but then again, there haven't been that many bands that needed that extra push like Spinal Tap.
IKEA PRESENTS "THE LIBOUSKE"
Is your room's decor all over the place, and in need of a little something to tie it together? Then a nice rug based on the Dude's Persian finery from The Big Lebowski should be just the thing. Make sure you get it Scotchguarded, in case a big, mean Chinam -- er, Asian American decides to relieve himself on it.
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