The Super Bowl is an American holiday where friends gather to day drink, binge eat, and watch what is usually an okay'ish game of football.
While having the event in Minneapolis has been a pain in the ass for anyone doing anything related to downtown, watching the game for free on TV should be a blast. We're expecting lots of cold-weather jokes, B-roll travel footage, and Easter eggs that should be highly amusing for us to spot while watching. So let's drink to our fair city. The following is a game that should get you good and toasted.
Take a healthy swig when there's any reference to:
... former Vikings coach Bud Grant. (Drink double if they talk about Grant always wearing short sleeve shirts in winter.)
... the weather in Minneapolis.
... how great of a time everyone's had this week/how great all the locals have been to the out-of-towners.
... the very fancy, hugely scientific material used to build the see-through US Bank Stadium roof (drink triple if they actually mention that it's killing birds).
... Fargo, the Cohen Bros., that 'Sota accent.
Do a healthy chug when the fighter jets show up.
Slam your beer if there are any National Anthem shenanigans.
Do a shot the first time they mention Prince.
Do a shot when/if the announcers mention that the Vikings have never won a Super Bowl.
Do a shot the first time someone complains about the officiating.
Do a shot when they show the Stone Arch Bridge/skyline for the first time.
Do a shot when they show footage of someone ziplining.
The game and the crowd:
Head into the kitchen for more eats anytime the camera pans to Giselle Bunchen looking suuuuper bored.
Crack open another cold one if they make a cold weather comment as they show a painted guy with his shirt off (it's not cold in the stadium, guys).
Eat something with cheese on it if they cut to Mall of America footage.
Chug when you remember how shitty everyone treated Janet Jackson after Nipplegate, while JT's back on the same stage where he once tore her top off.
Chug if Janet Jackson gets to make a redemption appearance.
Do a shot if there's a nipple.
Toast to Minnesota the first time they play a Twin Cities band's song as bumper music leading into a commercial.
Slam your beer anytime a someone shushes you because they are really into Super Bowl commercials. Dude, it's just consumerism.