Lonely library doggy goes viral, about to make SO MANY new friends

Gee, Sting, why the long face?

Gee, Sting, why the long face? John Muellner, Facebook

The internet is really only useful for a handful of things, most of them bad: listening to music while ripping off the artist that made it, ordering food without conversing with a human, harassing women, finding people who share your very specific kind of racism.

Before someone pulls the plug on the whole deal, we invite you to experience the following story.

Sting is a dog who volunteers his time at a local library, where his role is to sit there patiently while little kids read to him. 

[Editor's note: Feel free to print out the above sentence and carry it around to reread whenever you can' take it anymore.]

Here comes the sad part of the story -- perhaps the saddest part of any story, ever. Last Tuesday evening, Sting reported for duty at the Ramsey County Library in White Bear Lake. But there were no little readers waiting for him, according to a subsequent Facebook post from Sting's owner, John Muellner.

Muellner's post depicted Sting's fate in a heartbreaking photo triptych, the mere sight of which would inspire all humans still capable of feeling to drive at top speed directly toward White Bear Lake and begin reading something, anything, to this forlorn hound.

Muellner's plea for young readers got a bit of attention. As of Tuesday morning, it had been shared more than 99,000 times. On Thursday, the library gave supporters a pupdate -- sorry, update -- on Sting's schedule, which had rapidly filled up. Suddenly, the loneliest good boy in the world is super popular, and his services as a listener are highly sought after. Sting's booked months in advance.

We predict it won't be too long before kids are reading a children's book inspired by the story of Sting, the loneliest library dog in the world, a long-faced boy who only wanted small friends who would sit with him and read him a story. The first part is a total gut-punch, almost unendurably sad. Tell your kid to stick with it, though. It's got a happy ending.