Lisa Lampanelli on roasting, gay marriage, and her cartoon boobs

Lisa Lampanelli on roasting, gay marriage, and her cartoon boobs
Andrew Coppa

Lisa Lampanelli has changed.

The "Queen of Mean" has spent the last several years carving out a career by massacring helpless celebrities during the Comedy Central roasts, and for her balls-to-the-wall live shows where no gender, race, or sexual orientation is safe.

Today, she's an accomplished reality TV star, animated television actress, and even a stripped-down stage performer. Oh, and she's also lost over 100 pounds.

Regardless of the changes she's made, Lampanelli is still the fiercest chick in comedy, and this weekend she'll be bringing her "Leaner, Meaner" tour to the newly booze-friendly Mystic Lake Casino.

Before she steamrolls our fair city, we talked with the comedian about her weight loss, gay marriage, and how sweet cartoon boobs are.

This weekend will be your first time back in the Twin Cities since gay marriage became legal, right?

It is! And girl, it's fantastic! I love that the gays can finally get married in Minnesota; but now they have to deal with gay divorces too. You bitches wanted it? You got it.

Would you ever think about officiating a gay wedding?

Of course I would! I would be so excited to do that. Actually, a while back I was getting protested by those assholes in the Westboro Baptist Church, and my dream was to get ordained as a minister so that I could marry gay couples in front of their inbred eyes. That's still on my to do list.

You've been insanely busy lately, between your animated show on CMT, your radio show on Sirius, and your budding stage career, how do you find time to write new material for your standup?

The thing with me is that I work 16 hours a day, and I love it. As comics, we never sit there and look at it like, 'Oh no, I have to work.' I love having something new to challenge myself with so I don't get bored. That's motivation enough to keep me going.

You're in the new animated show Bounty Hunters on CMT. Is this how you always pictured yourself in cartoon form?

It's funny because I actually think I look better than I thought they'd make me. They still drew me as fat Lisa, but at least I've got really good boobs. Plus, I look a little funny or unique, and the thing I realized is that the characters on shows like this who look different are the ones who get the most attention. I'm always about the attention.

You mentioned "Fat Lisa" so I have to ask: How sick are you of talking about your weight loss?

Not at all! It's great because I finally fit into really cute clothes. It's really nice being able to get excited about fashion, and not having to worry about whether or not something comes in size 3X. I'm not a classy lady, but I like being able to go into Bloomingdales and say, 'Shit; I can wear this stuff and afford it!'

With all of the work you've been doing on television and on stage, do you still think of yourself as an insult comic?

I consider myself a lot of things. When I die, I hope my tombstone says, 'Insult comic. Tony award-winning actor. Horrible wife.' I look at the stage and television stuff as my way to express a different side of myself. It's like when you see Howard Stern on America's Got Talent, where he's funny and charming, but then you hear him on his show where he gets out his edgier side. I look for new ways to entertain people and keep myself entertained.

This weekend is the annual Comedy Central Roast. Do you ever watch these and think about how you were a pioneer for people like Amy Schumer or Anthony Jeselnik who now have their own shows?

I'm so self-centered that I take credit for anyone younger than me's success. Amy Schumer actually came up to me one time and said, 'Thank you so much for turning down the roast, because that opened the door for me.' That makes me feel good, because I feel like I did something that advanced another person's career.

Would you ever do another roast?

It's funny because I turned down a couple of roasts, and it feels good to be able to do that. But it's kind of like in high school when the ugly guy would ask you out and you'd turn him down, but you'd still be happy you got asked out. This time, I was kind of sad that I wasn't invited to do the James Franco roast because he's so gorgeous and that would have been amazing. But then they didn't invite me and it was kind of like I hadn't been asked out.

With so many people taking on daytime television, would you ever think about joining the cast of a morning talk show?

I never say never, but right now I'd rather eat a gun than do that. It's a lot of work to pull that off, and it would have to be really good money for me to work like that every day. Plus, those shows are all about interviewing other people, and other people aren't that interesting. I'm interesting. So the idea of having to make a show all about whatever guest I have on seems awful.


8 p.m. Saturday, August 31
Mystic Lake Casino

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Mystic Lake Casino Hotel

2400 Mystic Lake Blvd.
Prior Lake, MN 55372


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