KISS meets Archie? Six bizarre music/comic book mashups


In case you missed the breaking news out of this past weekend's San Diego Comic-Con, legendary rock band KISS will be making a pit stop in Riverdale to rock 'n' roll all night (and most likely party every day) with Archie and his pals and gals in a new comic series set to hit grocery store check-out aisles this November.

"The idea of having KISS come to Riverdale is the perfect mix of fun and off-the-wall," explains Archie meets KISS writer Alex Segura. "It's two pieces of Americana coming together for the first time, which should be fun and entertaining for readers of Archie and members of the KISS Army."

Teaming up America's Favorite Teenager with the Knights in Satan's Service is a bit of a head-scratcher, even among the most hardcore comic geeks out there. But is it truly the most bizarre pairing of music and comics to ever hit the four-color press? Reserve your judgment until you take these other mash-ups into consideration:

[jump] Pat Boone meets Lois Lane:

It would take one serious do-gooder boy scout to one-up the Man of Steel, but if anyone was up to the task, it would be Mr. Wholesome himself, Pat Boone (embarrassing metal phase aside). In this ever-empowering issue of Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane, the titular character's dream comes true when she gets to perform a duet with the aforementioned crooner. Naturally, the two sing a song about Superman, and somehow nearly out Clark Kent as the hero's secret identity. Fortunately, Boone is just famous enough to thwart the disaster. Honestly, don't dig too deep for a plot; it was the 1950s.

Eminem meets The Punisher:


To celebrate the release of his 2009 album, Relapse, Marvel partnered with XXL magazine and Eminem to produce this two-part comic which was included in the magazine and as a digital comic via Marvel's website. The action kicks off immediately (and inexplicably) as The Punisher mows down Eminem's crew after a show in Detroit. Em then teams up with longtime Punisher enemy, The Barracuda, who in turn double-crosses Slim Shady. We'd go into it more but it goes from zero to absurd pretty quickly--let's just say an ice fisherman, chainsaws, and dismembered fingers all come into play before Marshall Mathers and The Punisher eventually live happily ever after.

Bruce Springsteen meets Transformers:

Okay this one's kind of a cheat since technically The Boss doesn't actually show up in the issue. Rather, it's his Transformers universe's alter ego, "Brick Springhorn," belting out his signature working-class anthem, "Born in America." Also of note: the heroic Autobots encounter the evil Decepticons at a Springst--er, Springhorn show in Oregon, which can only mean his debut album Greetings from Eugene, OR must've been huge when it came out.

New Kids on the Block meet Richie Rich:

Ah, the '80s, when everyone was rich and read comic books about wildly successful boy bands and their wealthy funnybook pals. This team-up was actually a monthly series, in with Richie Rich and the New Kids got into such harrowing dilemmas as getting lost in Richie's mansion, and having too much ice cream to eat. Years from now, when financial historians look back on our current socio-economic problems, one can only assume everything will be traced back to this comic series.

The original cast of Saturday Night Live meets Spider-Man:

If there was anything to be learned from Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller's book Live From New York, it's there's a damn good chance that most of the original Not Ready For Prime Time Players probably thought they saw Spider-Man fighting a Silver Samurai in Studio 8H on a weekly basis. But that's basically the plot: John Belushi gets a bit too lost in his Samurai character, summons an actual samurai, Spider-Man saves the day, hi(gh)-jinx ensue, Lorne Michaels looks on disapprovingly.

Dethklok meets the Goon:

Dethklok, the greatest cartoon heavy-metal band since, well, KISS, meets The Goon (an indie antihero who's tussled with the likes of Hellboy in the past) in this tale which finds the world's most successful death metal quintet transported to The Goon's depression-era world filled with zombies and ultra-violent ancillary characters. If you ever sat down and watched an episode of Metalocalypse, you pretty much know what to expect here. In other words, it's brutal (in a good way).

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