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How to look fab -- and be comfortable! -- at the Minnesota State Fair

Wear reasonable clothing, unless you are in the Llama costume contest, where you should absolutely go all out.

Wear reasonable clothing, unless you are in the Llama costume contest, where you should absolutely go all out. CP archives

You know what time it is? STATE FAIR TIME. (You have to write it in caps. It's basically the law of the land.) You've felt the change in the air. You've awakened from dreams about deep-fried candy and Spam sushi. You've even missed the smell of cow manure wafting on the breeze.

Whether you attend the fair for the food, the farm animals, or the music, there's something there for everyone -- and an outfit to match.

If you go for... THE FANCY CHICKEN BARN
The barns are one of the best parts of the fair. Kids from all over Minnesota have worked really hard raising their prize-winning poultry and cattle so they can bring them to the fair to show them off for hordes of screaming kids and slightly buzzed adults. If you look forward to seeing the latest trends in chicken fashion or rabbit grooming, then come prepared. Don't wear flip-flops, because manure abounds in the barns. Show up in old Converse that you don't mind throwing away if they accidentally get covered in shit. Don't wear anything too flowy, either, because random fans will blow your skirt up over your head.

If you go for... THE RIDES
Get a bag that zips shut. Seriously. Do you want your lip gloss and dollar bills flying everywhere when you're hanging upside down on a ride? The same goes for flip-flops. Just say no. Make sure your sandals have backs so they don't go on an airline tour of the fair.

(ClicheMpls.com)

If you go for... THE FOOD
Don't wear anything restrictive. Hello, you're gonna be eating at least 2,000 calories in deep-fried goodies and probably drinking loads of blueberry beer. Hey, if there's any time to go overboard, this is it. Don't go to the fair in tight cutoffs only to regret it as the sodium swell sets in. If you're going to eat, wear your favorite breezy, loose sundress with a cute pattern (in case you spill on it). Give in to the tourist vibes and carry your stuff in a fanny pack so your hands are free for shoveling in food.

If you go for... THE MUSIC
Going to concerts at the fair is really fun, but it sucks to be stuck in a row when you've got a bunch of stuff with you. Carry a crossbody bag so you don't have to worry about swinging your purse around if you're dancing and drinking. Or wear shorts with pockets so you can carry around cash, your ID, and your phone without having to haul a bag. (Is that how people who don't use a purse live life day-to-day? Revolutionary!)

If you go... PREPARED
Bring a few things along to the fair to keep you sane and feeling fine as you explore the world on a stick. Ginger cubes help if you're feeling nauseous from too many creampuffs, and hand santizer is a must when your hands feel like you dipped them in the pig barn.