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Halloween costumes that will make you go 'WTF'

It's pretty obvious that there are a lot of really shitty Halloween costumes out there. It doesn't really seem fair to fault anyone who does a poor job making their own getup, but we have to wonder about the guy or gal that shows up to the party in a bad costume that they actually paid for. And while most of us have at least one crappy Halloween look in our past, some definitely fail harder than others.

City Pages is excited to announce that this year the Dressing Room will be sponsoring First Avenue's Halloween Party and Costume Contest on October 31. In celebration of this upcoming event we've pulled together a list of some of the ugliest, most ill-conceived, offensive, and bizarre Halloween costumes on the market this year. From sexy dog costumes to summer movie bombs to masks that will haunt you for days, epic fail awaits you after the jump. 

 

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Optimus Prime

Ever notice how there are no lady Transformers? No wonder their species is dying out. Regardless of this puzzling omission last time we checked, Optimus Prime, leader of the noble Autobots, didn't look like a cross between a She-Ra and a a blond Megan Fox. Does this costume look like a motor vehicle of any kind? (Link)

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The Lounge Singer

This horrid costume is not only genuinely terrifying, but it will also haunt your dreams for years to come. At the astronomical price of $499.99, buyers may feel obligated to get as much use out of it as possible, showing up at office parties, karaoke nights, and Bar Mitzvahs in the get up that makes babies cry. And don't store this thing in your closet in-between use: An accidental glance into his tiny, pea-sized eyes will probably scare the crap out of you if you're not expecting it. (Link)

Sexy Chucky Costume 

With so many sexy Halloween costume options out there, why would someone choose a horror movie from the late '80s? Also, Chucky was a dude. Shouldn't the lady here be going as Tiffany, a.k.a. the Bride of Chucky? (Link)

Soldier Sweetie

We get soldier Halloween costumes in general, but this one really doesn't make sense. First, is she a soldier? Or is she supposed to be the soldier's girlfriend? We're guessing it's the latter since the last time we checked people in the military don't wear sparkly tops, platform sandals, or tie their tops up high. (Link)

Banana Flasher

Bananas get really dark and sexually explicit after a three-day meth bender. Just look into the expression on its face. That is totally what this thing has been up to. (Link)

Heavenly Devil Costume

Wow. They start the kids on the virgin/whore complex earlier and earlier each year... (Link)

Sassy Scholar Teen Costume

Never has the sexy Halloween costume phenomena been so obvious. Believe it or not, this look is intended for teenage girls. But why would a teen need to dress up as a student? Don't they do this every day? Can't a teenager dress up as a sassy scholar using every day items from their closet? (Link)

Down for the Count

The wearer of the costume probably thinks it's hilarious--until he shows up at the party and realizes that he will be awkwardly waddling through the crowd for the entire night. Also, don't go to a party in this expecting to pick up chics. (Link)

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BP Bad Planning

Too soon? This one feels like it could be this year's Illegal Alien costume in terms of bad taste. (Link)

Oversized Leprechaun Costume

This leprechaun will gladly share some of his hallucinogenic mushrooms if you would please return his gold coins. Or he may just decide to swallow you whole. One or the other. (Link)

Yellow Wacky Wiggler

Are you looking for a Halloween costume that prevents you from drinking, sitting down, and looking people in the eye? Then this yellow thingy is totally for you. In fact, if you could just spend the evening swaying in the driveway, the party's host would be ever-so-grateful. (Link)

Harem Dog Pet Costume

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Sexy Halloween costumes aren't just for women, teens, and girls. They are also for dogs. Woof. (Link)

Jonah Hex

We're assuming this costume was conceived before the studio realized Jonah Hex was going to be a major bomb. Awkward. Also, why does this costume require a mask? Can't a guy get the same look with a five o'clock shadow and some black eyeshadow? (Link)