If the humble birth of Jesus Christ doesn't vibe with your North Loop lifestyle, you've got an option this holiday season.
The Hipster Nativity Set, available now for $129.99, takes all your favorite Xmas players -- Mary, Joseph, the Three Wise Men, etc. -- and re-brands them for the Whole Foods generation.
The 7-inch polyresin figurines feature a man-bunned Joseph snapping a selfie, Mary guzzling a latte, the Wise Men delivering Amazon Prime gifts atop Segways, an organic cow eating gluten-free feed, and various other symptoms of gentrified Bethlehem. The Christ Child remains period-appropriate, but he's now swaddled beneath a manger that's sustainably powered by solar panels.
"It’s the first thing anyone notices when they walk into my living room -- I get a lot of compliments on it," reads a five-star product review from "Verified Buyer" Jessica.
If you'd rather spend $120 on artisanal candy canes, Target's selling the classic (and progressively multi-racial!) Nativity scene for $10.