On the evening of Sunday, August 28, a man and woman had a chance meeting at the Nomad World Pub in Minneapolis.
In the romantic comedy business, we'd call this scene the prospective couple's "meet cute." The scenes that followed are what would happen if our rom-com's script was written by Hunter S. Thompson and directed by Alejandro Iñárritu.
This we know from a (seemingly earnest) Craigslist ad posted on the website's "missed connections" page. That section of Craigslist is a near-constant source for anonymously told stories of humor and pathos. This story gives both.
"I was super high and throwing up blood," reads the title of a post our mystery woman wrote. And it doesn't let up on the drama from there.
The woman, who describes herself as black, 24 years old, 5-foot-6 and "curvy," admits she had too much to drink that Sunday night. Her condition was helped along by taking "a bunch of hits." Both activities continued later in the night, when she accompanied a man wearing a straw hat back to his bachelor pad.
Their carriage for this fairy tale trip was a "really nice car with no seatbelts."
The next dose of marijuana was one too many for our heroine, who started vomiting, and needed immediate medical assistance. She hopes the ambulance's arrival at our hero's abode was not enough to tip the authorities about his illicit substance habit.
"I don't know if they got after you for possession," she says, adding, seductively, "but I'm really sorry and your junk was VERY impressive."
"Please," she begs, "give me another chance."
Read the whole listing below, and "do NOT contact" her with "unsolicited services or offers." This woman wants a straw-hatted stoner with no seat belts and a nice package; all other offers will be declined.
Previously, in Dear God, Minneapolis: