Wednesday, October 17, 2012 at 10:15 a.m.
The countdown is on.
In just two short weeks, bros and lady-bros will be dressing up in their sluttiest, most tasteless, and flat-out ridiculous outfits in honor of the greatest holiday ever created: Halloween.
Ah, yes. The "Sexy (your profession here)." This is one of the most time-honored costumes amongst classy ladies. This Halloween, you'll see everything from "Sexy Nurse" to "Sexy Teacher," to "Sexy Chef." But the one that sticks out most to us has to be "Sexy Cop." Now, anyone can wear a kid-sized police uniform, but if you really want to represent law enforcement AND sexiness this Halloween, trying being "Sexy Police Academy Cadet." This includes an ill-fitting grey or navy t-shirt, sweatpants, or possibly some pleated khakis. Super sexy, and super accurate.
Also, if law enforcement isn't your thing, you could also do "Sexy Blogger," or "Sexy Reality TV Fan." SPOILER: It all ends in sweatpants.
Awwww yeah! POLITICAL COSTUMES! Because who doesn't love the idea of getting in a drunken political debate with some bro in a rubber mask and a suit?
Granted, this is an election year, so the timing makes sense. But if you really want to represent a political figure who brings the party, check out Kurt P. Bills. BAM:
KPB (as he's known in the streets) is currently serving in the MN House of Representatives, and is challenging Amy Klobuchar for her Senate seat this November. But more importantly, dude looks like he can party. Throw away your Obama mask or your Romney wig, and get down with K-Bills this October.
Anything Related to Penn State
Remember when all that horrible shit first came out about the Catholic church and kids? And remember all of the HILARIOUS dudes who wore priest outfits with little kid dolls tied around their waists? Those guys were the worst.
Now in 2012, we have the unfortunate Penn State scandal, which means dudes are going to undoubtedly going to be rocking their finest tinted glasses, Nittany Lions sweater, and plastic little boy toys. Two things:
1) It wasn't Joe Paterno; it was Jerry Sandusky so your joke doesn't even make sense. Do better.
2) You're a dick.
However, if you feel like you HAVE to dress up as a sex offender, make sure you bring a friend along who is dressed up as Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator, because that turns a tragedy into hilarity.
No matter what you're into, Halloween is the one day of the year that you can fully express your creativity. Make sure you get the most out of it, because honestly, you can only have so many Jersey Shore knock-offs and Honey Boo Boo Childs.