Andrew Schulz on why every city is a little shitty


There was a time when comedian Andrew Schulz was on five different TV shows, though he’s probably most recognized from MTV series Guy Code. “The TV schedule has dissipated,” he reports, though he is currently a series regular on the hockey-themed sitcom Benders on IFC. “I’ve been travelling. I just got back from Winnipeg.”

While in Manitoba, Schulz made an interesting observation about how some locals view their community. “You know how in America, in shitty places, you can’t tell people from there it’s shitty? No one in West Virginia doesn’t say it’s the best place in the world. They’ll take pride in their shit.” Not so in Winnipeg. “There’s miles and miles of just land, and that’s another way of saying there’s nothing there. In Winnipeg, they know how shitty it is. It got me a little sad. I was like, ‘Fuck, spin it bro.’ Say, ‘We can survive any weather.’ They’re like, ‘Oh. Sorry dude. It sucks here.’”

Schulz feels a little delusion is good for the soul. “Your life is better,” he insists. “You’re lying to yourself a little bit, but they couldn’t even recommend something for me to do. ‘What should I do?’ I asked them. ‘I don’t know.’” The obvious answer, going to see Wild Central Division rivals the Winnipeg Jets wasn’t an option. “I had shows, so I couldn’t go any of their games. Even the Saturday game was at night.”

“I grew up in Manhattan, and I love it but, it’s the only thing I know,” he says. “There’s some nice things about it, and there’s some incredibly infuriating things about it.” He recalls a favorite quote from basketball star Carmelo Anthony. “He said, ‘You’re not a real New Yorker unless you wake up and say, 'Fuck New York!’ That’s a real feeling. Why is there traffic at two in the morning? Who’s driving at two in the morning? You have to get out of the city. I need to get out for my own sanity. It can be very draining.”

New York is not, in fact, the only place Schulz knows, as he went to college in Southern California. He doesn’t fancy a return there, though. “I’ll go where the career takes me, but to be in L.A. for all that time, nope.” Schulz went to the University of California at Santa Barbara, a school he chose carefully.

“I just wanted to check it out,” he says. “I thought it might be the last chance I’d have to live somewhere else with no responsibilities, so I said, ‘Why not?’ Schulz grew up in the East Village in Manhattan. His parents owned a summerhouse on Long Island. “I come from a life of privilege, my friend.” During the summer, he’d surf. “I thought I’d like to go to college in a place where I can surf, so I went out to California and I went surging maybe two times while I was out there.”

His other option for school was the UC Santa Cruz. “It was still a cool experience to go to UCSB,” he notes. “I picked that school based entirely on it having all the hottest chicks of the schools I could get into. Santa Barbara had these buff, blond, yoga-body chicks.”

The problem with California, he found, was the vastness of the L.A. area. “I find California to be very limiting,” he explains, “because you can only do one thing a day. Just one. I’m going to Santa Monica and I’m going to meet my friend for lunch. That’s it. Your day is done.”

Factoring in the traffic, it’s an all-day commitment. “L.A.’s the place people go to stop being friends. If you and your friend don’t live or work in the same neighborhood, you might as well be pen pals.”

In New York, Schulz points out, you tend to stay friends with people you’d rather cut ties with.“It’s just convenient. ‘You wanna get some coffee?’ You can’t say ‘no.’ So, you get coffee and your friend is like, ‘I’ll be there in 10 minutes.’ Yeah, I know, everywhere is 10 minutes away.”


Andrew Schulz

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