Alt-Right museum-goers respond: We're not Nazis, we just like 'traditional art'

This guy in the hoodie is one of the finest patrons of the arts. Certain arts. Don't ask.

This guy in the hoodie is one of the finest patrons of the arts. Certain arts. Don't ask.

The response from "alt-right" Minneapolis men who washed up last weekend at the Minneapolis Institute of Art starts out like the beginning of a letter to Penthouse. 

"We... never thought this could happen to us," they begin...

Given the setup, you might expect to read a steamy fantasy filled with tall, blonde, Teutonic cheerleaders who love the Fatherland and can unhook a bra strap without missing a note of Wagner. 

But this is no fantasy. It's real, and the screwing these ultra conservatives are getting is not at all pleasurable. 

They are pissed about the way their purpose, and their experience at the MIA, has been distorted by "media" -- meaning the Star Tribune, City Pages, and, as of last night, the New York Times.

These and other outlets covered a confrontation between left-wing protesters and these men -- one of whom, according to a witness, cried out "Heil Trump!" and made a Nazi salute -- whom the lefties called "Nazis."

That term, these guys complain, is now being ascribed to "everybody to the right of Stalin." They're not Nazis! They're merely members of this "exciting* new movement of the Alt-Right."

(*Note: The movement will be less "exciting" and more "terrifying" for certain types, including but not limited to immigrants, blacks, Jews, Muslims, liberals, historians, feminists, World War II veterans, and those who have trouble manufacturing misplaced hatred.) 

Now that they've cleared up that misconception, "AltRight MN" -- whose "About" page is literally just a "Minnesota for Trump" button -- can explain what happened at the museum on Saturday. First, they were hacked. Someone from the left-wing Industrial Workers of the World (IWW) sneaked into their secret chat room "by pretending to be a Trump supporter." 

Then, they were attacked. Two AltRight MN guys were jumped inside the museum "simply for how they looked." 

If you are attacked for "how you looked," and "how you looked" is "like a neo-Nazi," and you are a neo-Nazi... is it still "simply" because of how you looked? 

Another "Trump supporter" was "violently attacked and maced." Cops called to the scene found "an illegal knife" on one of the IWW side, though they didn't arrest him.

"Why not?" AltRight MN asks. "Are they supporting the actions of these leftist thugs?"

Probably not!

This was all an unnecessarily violent response to what was supposed to be a fun little outing for a few well-meaning, white-leaning -- oops, right-leaning patrons of the arts. Specifically, the old stuff.

"We were there only to meet a few new faces and enjoy the Minneapolis Institute of Art’s collection of traditional art."

And who doesn't love "traditional art"?

Anyway, at last, the media's "lies" about what happened at the museum are corrected.

Pay no mind to this blog post write-up from the IWW point of view, which claims it was one of the AltRight MN guys who had a "large folding knife," and who "started a physical brawl with the anti-fascists when they questioned him about his [Nazi flag] shirt."

Or to the photo of a guy who appears to be giving a Nazi salute. That's out of context. He is actually just demonstrating that the men of AltRight MN care a lot about "traditional art," and they... have high standards.