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30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities

Imagine: You're about to go on another date with someone in the Twin Cities. Things haven't been going so great lately, but you're still not sure whether you should end it.

Need a little help? Here are 30 signs that your Twin Cities relationship might be dunzo.

See also: The 10 worst places in Minneapolis

30. They get annoyed when you go to a brewpub and there's no Miller or Coors on tap.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
Get gritty with your friendly neighborhood rockers and punk friends

29. They think venues like the Turf Club and the Triple Rock Social Club are scary.

28. They think the Walker Art Center is weird. And not in a good way.

27. They have never been to an Uptown Theatre midnight movie, and only venture to Uptown to shop at Victoria's Secret and MAC.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
Wild times for folks both young and old beyond these doors. No, really!

26. They don't believe you when you tell them about your favorite karaoke hot spot, the James Ballentine VFW, or the riotous dance parties to be found... in the basement of that VFW.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
Lake Harriet? Or Lake Calhoun?

25. They don't know the difference between Lake Harriet and Lake Calhoun.

24. They helped paint over your kick-ass PBR mural without even telling you.

23. You see them at Cheap Date Night at Bryant-Lake Bowl with someone else.

22. They refuse to go outside during the winter, when there's so many great things to check out, such as the Art Shanties Project, U.S. Pond Hockey Tournament, the Saint Paul Winter Carnival, ice skating at Rice Park, and more. Not all of us are into winter nesting.

The annual Freedom From Pants Ride: Adorable yes, but not for kids.
The annual Freedom From Pants Ride: Adorable yes, but not for kids.
Patty Grover

21. They think bikes are for kids.

20. You live in Minneapolis, they live in St. Paul. That's sooo far away. The commute is killing you, and one of you needs to be willing to cross the river from time to time in order to hang out.

19. They've never been to Hidden Beach.

18. They got Kickstarter tickets to an ultra-exclusive dinner at Travail and they didn't take you.

Young people: Go out there and have a messy blast.
Young people: Go out there and have a messy blast.
Tony Nelson

17. You're both under 30 and they don't want to go to Zombie Pub Crawl/You're both over 30 and they want to go to Zombie Pub Crawl.

16. They have no interest in going to First Avenue.

 

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
A delicious pizza that sounds so weird you have to try it

15. They won't even try the super-delicious Thailander at Galactic Pizza, and they don't even get a little bit excited when a superhero delivers the pie to your front door.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
No B&N has an entrance this awesome.

14. They shop at Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com instead of Magers & Quinn, Common Good Books, SubText, Once Upon a Crime, or any other local independent bookshop in town.

13. You spot them stocking up on vibrators at Smitten Kitten, and you know it's not for sexy time with the two of you.

12. They think Midtown Global Market is a farmers' market.

11. They say they're all organic, but they don't know where any Mississippi Markets are and the think the Wedge is a type of shoe.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
So... um, where's the bar?

10. They don't know how to get into Marvel Bar.

9. They believe Taste of Minnesota and Basilica Block Party will actually have a lineup that's considered relevant sometime after 1997 each year.

8. They think there are really only 10,000 lakes in Minnesota.

7. They've never gone to Wisconsin on a Sunday booze run.

6. They prefer Domino's to Pizza Luce or Pizzeria Lola.

Joanna Fox
Joanna Fox
No Hondas on this road for Open Streets

5. They think Open Streets is when there's no traffic in town.

4. They think curling is the same as doing a sit-up.

3. They say there's a concert at an underground club and they take you to Myth.

30 signs that your relationship is probably over in the Twin Cities
Ryan Siverson

2. They think Red Bull Crashed Ice is a drink.

1. They prefer Wisconsin to Minnesota.

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