There are a lot of awful Christmas stories out there. They seem to focus way too much on the spirit of the holiday, forgetting all about how every good story needs machine guns. Fortunately, there's Die Hard. Arguably the greatest Christmas story ever told, Die Hard features New York City cop John McClane ripping shit up with yuletide prejudice, crushing foreign terrorists who don't realize how awesome Christmas is for us Americans. This holiday season, you can see the greatest story ever told live onstage, sans-Bruce. A Very Die Hard Christmas is back at Bryant-Lake Bowl Theater for nine shows this holiday season, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday through December 22. While the story features the same basic premise, let's just say this ain't your dad's Die Hard. You know you're not in for just another Christmas story when you hear a tagline like "High above the city of L.A., a team of terrorists has seized a building, taken hostages, and declared war. One man has managed to escape. An off-duty cop hiding somewhere inside. He's alone, tired... and he doesn't like Christmas." Yippee ki-yay, Father Christmas.
Fridays, Saturdays, 10 p.m.; Sundays, 9 p.m. Starts: Dec. 6. Continues through Dec. 22, 2013