Split the baby: Two sides of an adoption battle

The fight over two baby girls could change how Minnesota considers relatives and race in adoption cases

The more major move would be if the court overturned the lower court's decision, and sided with the Dunnings. If that happened, though the justices can't touch federal rules surrounding race, there's room for them to say that "culture" should weigh more heavily.

"Race per se is not supposed to influence where children go, but how can we truly separate race and culture?" Perlman asks. "We're not saying that these are African-American children and so they should be in an African-American home, but part of culture is heritage."

Perlman concluded that he would expect the court's opinion to include some discussion of the culture question. But to him, the case is more about how to weigh the biological bond — whether "we're really truly going to give meaning" to the idea that kids should grow up with their kin.

Minnesota's Supreme Court Justices hear arguments from the Dunnings' lawyer
Jayme Halbritter
Minnesota's Supreme Court Justices hear arguments from the Dunnings' lawyer
Dorothy Dunning tells her story to a group of supporters at the Minneapolis Urban League
Jayme Halbritter
Dorothy Dunning tells her story to a group of supporters at the Minneapolis Urban League

Walling thinks that the court is unlikely to come down in favor of a strong relative preference.

"If they say relatives should be considered before anybody else, that would be directly contrary to two of their other cases," he says. "But that would change the outcome dramatically."

To two families, the case's implications aren't theoretical. The court's decision will determine whether or not they raise — or even know — two baby girls. It will mean, after nearly three years of suspense and fighting, that they finally have a resolution.

Both lawyers say they think the decision could go either way. In sensitive cases involving minors the court often moves more quickly, and in this case is expected to issue a decision within 90 days. At that point, Princess will be three and a half.

If the court overturns Quaintance's opinion and gives the girls to the Dunnings, the Grossers feel as though two of their daughters would be taken away.

"I just hope the Supreme Court will see that it's about two little girls, and not who they belong to," Steven says. "To think about them going away to a place where they're not going to be cared for, and mature to what they can be, that's the scariest part."

Liv agrees. "It's about the best interest of the girls, not the best interest of the relatives," she says. "There's just this undercurrent of stress that at any time they can take our kids away."

"We can't change the color of our skin," she continues. "We can go and do every single thing that we possibly could do for our kids, but we can't be black."

The Dunnings, for their part, are appealing the decision to a higher power.

"I believe in God, and there's been too much praying for us not to get these babies," Aubrey Knox says. "It's going to take a turn — it has to, because of the race issue. You can't ignore it."

His stepfather, Lawrence Dunning, agrees. "I think they finally coming home," he says.

Nearly an hour after court let out, Dorothy stepped into the elevator to leave the Minnesota Judicial Center.

"They made the fight come out in me," she said on the ride down. "Even when I get my grandkids, I will not stop coming up here. I want to fight and mobilize to put another law on the books to give relatives, and relatives out of state, a chance."

As she walked out into the bright January morning, she shivered in the cold.

"Minnesota," she said, "will not forget me." 

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32 comments
boobug6
boobug6

This is ridiculous. Race should never be brought up. We all bleed the same color, we all need to be loved and nurtured. Us white people can certainly learn how to care for a black childs hair and skin. It wouldnt be that hard to walk into a salon and ask some questions if need be. Why does everything have to be about race all the dang time?

FamilyMatters
FamilyMatters

This shouldn't be dragged out any longer.  I think the process of giving these babies to their grandmother should start now.  Maybe start out with regular weekly visits, then daily, then weekends, then weeks at a time until they work the adoptive parents out (unless both sides agree to allow the adoptive parents visitations, which would be nice).  No offense to the adoptive parents, they have done a wonderful job and I applaud them, but I do believe that family members should get children who have been removed from their biological parents.  It's not their skin...it's the fact that they are family.  With that being said, I also believe that the children should not be "snatched" out of the only home and family they have ever known, which is why I stated above that it should be a process.  I do believe that just taking children away would be absolutely horrifying to the babies emotionally, but if it is done slowly, I believe the children will be just fine; they would need just a little more love and attention at first as they fully acclimated to their new home and surroundings. 

If these children are not given to their family, I think there could be problems in the long run, especially when these baby girls find out that their grandmother fought so hard for them, and that the reason they were not placed with their family was because of the Grosser's selfishness.  There could be a lot of resentment later, so if you are reading this, Mr. and Mrs. Grosser, you should definitely consider that.  These babies belong with their grandmother and family (and again I stress...placing the babies with Grandma should be done slowly as to not emotionally harm them). 

I am the mother of five boys.  My husband and I recently had my niece (my brother's daughter) placed with us for 10 months.  She was taken from her parents because of the same thing; her parents are crack cocaine users and Rx drug abusers.  For various reasons, we allowed my niece to go to foster care with the belief that she would be going home to her parents in just a few short months.  That was the biggest mistake of my life.  Turns out her parents will not change their ways, so we are now going to adopt my niece.  Right now, she is with an African-American foster family and I have no problem with that at all.  I know she is being properly cared for at the moment.  And if I were not here to adopt my niece, I would not have a problem if the foster family loved my niece enough to want to adopt her...because I do not believe that skin color makes you who you are.  That's just my opinion, I thought I would give it because it was mentioned in the article above. 

At any rate, I hope to have my niece adopted and back in my home as soon as possible...because she will be having a new baby brother or sister soon who I will also be adopting (and unfortunately, it will be a cocaine-addicted baby).  It will be hard on our family financially, physically, and emotionally to take on two additional children, as we have one who is 21 and in college, a 16-year-old, a 10-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 7-month-old, but we will make it work...because we are family and belong together. 

Good luck to you, Mrs. Dunning - I hope your grandbabies are with you soon.  Much love. 

queenofweaves
queenofweaves

Ms.Dorthy & family my heart goes out to you. I am just now hearing about your case.  I am disappointed that I haven't heard about it before now. I have a youtube channel but there are 3  other black youtubers with fan bases much larger than my own, theskorpionshow, lovelyti2002, and muchlovefromkentucky. The quickest way to reach them is to direct message them on twitter. I have spoke with  muchlovefromkentucky (ms.nina) online before and she is passionate about issues like this. Lovelyti2002 is also very passionate, the skorpionshow has the largest base with over 100k subscribers and they report on issues that affect the black community also. 

This story touched my heart because I am a former foster child. Today I am a married mother of 3 but I grew up in the alameda county foster care system. My friends think I some what of a nut because I think that the foster care system and the prison system is connected and is basically 21st century slavery.  Foster care and prison is big business here in america, and no one talks about it. My mother was a drug addict. In the early 80s her drug of choice was herione and she later graduated to crack cocaine. Like you my grandmother and cousins and aunts fought for the five of us (4girls 1 boy). However my mother had told the judge she didn't want us placed with family. Of course the judge listened. We were placed with a black family. It was a nightmare, I won't torture you with the details but lets just say at 40 i still have nightmares. The courts are full of bs to think that race doesn't affect you. When you grow up in a family that is not your blood there is an emptiness that grows and grows. It is going to be especially hard for them being black females growing up in a white family. Here in California many agencies require that the parents keep the children in touch with their cultural roots. In our case my grandmother was allowed visitation. I didn't appreciate it back then. I wanted to just fit .in my foster family so bad, and they looked down on my granny. In the end my grandmothers love won. No matter how ugly I acted she would be at every one of my events. Years later I asked my mother why she did't place us with family. She told me she did it to hurt my grandmother. In the end it hurt us. My brother has been in and out of prison. I just found my 3 sisters 5 years ago after being split for over 30 years. My sisters were adopted while my brother and I stayed with the first foster family. America's foster care system is broken and in desperate need of repair.

Don't stop fighting, these people are wrong! You should have been contacted first, another thing you need to make a youtube channel and do a video so we can pass it around. I know i'm blabbering and all over the place so I will end it here. I want to leave you my info please email me and if you can you need to do another change.org petition I went to sign it and it was closed. Your story should have been viral every grandmother needs to have signed your petition. I do hair for a living and my youtube channel is queenofweaves.com you can inbox me there or on Facebook. Please let me know how I can help. I'm praying with you and for you. ~DeDe

DeDe Hunt (Sacramento CA on Facebook)

queenofweaves@gmail.com 


markeishamay
markeishamay

I 100 percent support the Dunning family.black people are unique. black hair and skin must be cared for differently, and the majority of white people DO NOT know the proper way to care for our hair. I personally know several people african-american people adopted by white families, and they are extremely confused and not in touch with who they are as people because they were not raised with black families. I think that the Gossers are an awesome family but the Children's place is with their biological family so they can know who they are as black women, and unfortunately, thats not something that a white family can teach them. short-term it is going to be difficult with growing up in 1 family in changing to another but in the long run it will help these young girls grow into strong black women. Just imagine how difficult it would be for these children to learn that black people used to be slaves to white people and go home to a white family after learning that information? or what about the first time they get called the N Word? how can a white family deal with that in an acceptable way? they don't know what it's like to go through racism because they've never had to deal with it. culture always needs to be taken into consideration in adoption cases because it so much of who we are as people is our culture. Keep fighting for your babies Mrs. Dunning!

sweeter963
sweeter963

Keep fighting! It is clear you care deeply about your family. It is unfortunate that the foster family became so attached while knowing you were interested in custody.

goodgrandmama48
goodgrandmama48

Nobody knows the heartache and pain of what I have experienced. I experienced the most difficult thing when I was never contacted. No one in my family was contacted by the county and that's court records. I am their biological grandmother. Nothing can take the place of that no matter what. I love my grandchildren unconditionally. This fight will never end until i get my grandchildren even if I have to take it to the highest court in the land. I have been laying awake at night wondering about my grandchildren. Any real Christian , and any real loving grandparent would definitely understand my heartache and what I am going thru. I was never told that my husband had to go to school and be certified in order for us to receive the girls until the last minute. I would like for someone to please answer this question : Why did Judge Quintons and Ms. L J Johnson  send a child to California with an aunt and this aunt never went to school or had to be certified ? They walked into this womans home and stayed less than 20 minutes yet they approved her to have her nephew. All Of these children share the same mother. All of these children were born with the same drugs in their system. Why is it that I was denied visitation with the girls for a little over a year ? Why is it that the other children who aren't my grandchildren weren't classified as special needs ? Why is it that my girls were singled out and declared special needs ? I see it as a way for the state and other family to keep a hold onto my grandchildren. I'm not saying that my granddaughters may not have problems , but what i'm asking is why is it that the special needs weren't mentioned until later on. None of the documents sent to The Mississippi Welfare System from Minnesota EVER stated that my granddaughters had special needs. I love my grandchildren unconditionally. Do you think that I would be fighting this hard if I didn't love my grandchildren ? Do you think that I am so ignorant that I wouldn't be able to provide proper care to my granddaughters ? People need to research the facts about declaring the foster children specials needs. It is stated that the doctors never declared my granddaughters special needs until Mrs.Grosser kept pushing the issue.If the Wayzata School District tested my grandchildren and never declared them as special needs would you say that the school district was lying ? If my granddaughters are in fact declared special needs this family will receive almost 3,000 per child. Its proven fact in Minnesota.  Why is it that the courts would choose to leave my grandchildren in this home where they are making this family rich when they can be home with their family and I don't want not one red cent of any money. I Just want my grandchildren. I worked for a Pediatrician ( Dr. Grant) for over 30 years. He is very prominent on the coast. He told me that he would help me in every way possible and help me with any medical care that the girls will need. When i receive negative feedback it only makes me fight harder. I will make a difference.As of today I have sent over 30 envelopes to newspapers , attorney generals , and the white house about this.I will make a difference. I am becoming a Fannie Lou Hamer , Rosa Parks , And Dr.Martin Luther King. I will fight for justice and bring light to this. There are thousands of people who have reached out to me from Minnesota about this same problem stating that they are taking their children as well and placing them in home with foster families as well when they too have family members with clear backgrounds to take their children. We as a community will make a difference. My Family means more to me than life itself. My grandchildren hold a very special place in my heart. I want them to know who I am . 

knoxboy_knoxboy
knoxboy_knoxboy

I am going to be very blunt here. You sound STUPID. I have detailed records to prove no one from our family was contacted. My mother or Gramma as you call it contacted the county when the first baby was 2 mo. I also have very detailed document's of correspondence's from The foster mom and county workers over years worth and they tell a very different story. The girl's were fine no special needs. The Grosser's never wanted the second child that is documented. They were fine with the girl's leaving until the first visit my mom asked questions about their religion. Views were different and everything took a turn. Then the lies began the girl's have special needs Gramma don't want them if they do ect ect ect. If the Grosser's are your friends it's cool I get that support your friends but don't speak for God especially if you don't have the facts Liv Grosser is a lier I can prove that she knows im telling the truth and so does God. I haven't heard Mr Grosser lie so I can't speak to that. Ask your friends to share the paper work with you read it for yourself. Then see if you feel the same. Ill let you read the lies I welcome anyone to come read it for yourself.

evl_pptrt
evl_pptrt

These girls have their own experience. Yes, those girls do not just sit up on the shelf waiting for whoever wants to call them kin. The girls have been formed into a family. The best situation would had been if 'Gramma' would let those people-God chose, to love and care for the girls, to raise them. In the meantime Gramma can visit, and after trust has been established, the girls can go for extended periods of visitation.

Race should have never been considered into the process of adoption. I didn't see anyone stopping Gramma from raising those girls, expect Gramma. There were many attempts from what the records show to get the girls with kin. Months of no contact? Step daddie not wanting any part then after months he finally steps up? Those two facts make me very concerned with the kin.

The family that has been formed has NO use of drugs. They are firmly rooted into their community. There is no-one that hasn't said NO to the process to adopt the girls. The girls were allowed visitation with their kin. This shows good intentions from the start.

I believe that splitting the baby was never an option. The God-created family is the only place the girls should be raised. I hope that Gramma and family can be productive for the good of the girls.

oliviahgrant
oliviahgrant

    I am the daughter of Walter K. Grant who commented below. I have known Mrs. Dorothy my whole life (16 years) and I know what kind of person she is. And that is an amazing one. I have never seen someone fight this hard to get what they want and deserve. I know I would never be able to do what she is doing. Doesn't this alone show how much of a fit grandmother she is and will continue to be for her grandchildren? Not only is she determined, but she is the hardest worker I've ever seen. She will do whatever it takes, work as long as it takes, to provide for her family and friends. She would give you the shirt off her back. I have witnessed her friendship with my mother for years and how they continuously help each other when they are in need and I'm sure my mother would agree with me when I say she is dear to our family, and in fact, we would consider her a part of our family. And while I do see the Grosser's point of view in this situation, you can't deny family. At the end of the day that's all we have. And Mrs. Dorothy's and those babies' family is huge in number and in heart. Why should they be denied them? 

I am aware that I am no expert as I am only a child, but I can tell you something an adult may not be able to tell you....I see this as a case of love, not a case of the law or a case of race or anything of that sorts..I see this from the point of view of a kid and I can truly tell you Mrs. Dorothy is one hundred percent the most fit grandmother, mother, wife, and friend. She feels family is what matters most, and that might be the most true thing I've ever heard. 

-Olivia 

kasgrant
kasgrant

    I am a pediatrician in Gulfport, Mississippi. I have known Mrs Dunning for 33 years and have taken care of several members of her family. I can certainly attest that Mrs. Dunning and her husband are wonderful people and they would go to the ends of the earth to care for and do what is right for their grandchildren. She has several other grandchildren for whom she has done just that for years now. She has a large extended family and a group of friends from all walks of life . She is not just trying to gain possession of these children, but trying to do what is best for them. Every resource these children may need medically is available to them in this area.

     I am sure the Grosser's are wonderful people or they would not be doing what they are doing. However, there is a certain wealth in extended family (irrespective of race) that cannot be matched in any other set of circumstances. Certainly early attachment is important to children as the other pediatricians have attested to, but children are very resilient. The Grossers are to be commended for what they have given to these girls that will last a lifetime, but true family bonds and their connection to their biologic family was begun at conception and will also last a lifetime.

-Walter K. Grant M.D.

knoxboy_knoxboy
knoxboy_knoxboy

@forthesakeofthechildren The doors will always be open no matter what. Somethings are worth paying the ultimate price for first is God second is family. This country applaud young men and women who give their life for this Godless country. But e you expect people to lay down when it comes to our children good luck with that. What world do you people live in. The sad part is this family claims to be followers of Jesus Christ. Would Jesus say leave the kids they are attached its too late. No he would not. I was taught by my mother and father that you can do All things through Christ Jesus including get over and crossing jordan. My mother tries to be such a good Christian she will not mention Mrs Grosser battle with cancer but how can you over look it. From a judicial stand point or a Biblical stand point. It reminds me of the Pharo had he just let the people go he could have spared himself and his family from great pain and affliction God does not lie his word shall not return void. So keep thinking you are doing Gods will. You are a lie and the truth is not in you. I was in the first visit I remember the conversation I know why this whole thing went sour so do you Mrs Grosser and so do you LJ Johnson. God will reward each according to your deeds.

goodgrandmama48
goodgrandmama48

I Am The Grandmother Of These Two Grandchildren. I Want The People To Know That I Have Been Fighting For My Granddaughter Since She Was 2 Months Old. Minnesota Did Everything in Their Power To Stop Me For Visiting. I Asked To Fly Up And I Was Told No. I Was Told That I Couldn't Ask Any Questions Concerning The Case Until I Had A Valid Foster Care Licencing And A Background Check. I Want People To Know That The State Of Minnesota Never Did A Kinship Search Or Contacted Anyone In My Family. I Had A Sister Who Was Licensed To Foster Parent. I Asked If My Sister Could Care For The Girls Until I Had My Foster Care License . They Denied Me. Everything I Have Said From Day One Is In court Documentation. I Have Never Switched My Story. I Want People To Know That I Cannot Help What My Son Has Done But I Still Love Him Unconditionally. The Day My Granddaughter Was Born Her Mother Called To Mississippi , Got My Full Name And Named Her After ME Dorothy Faye Knox. Yes She Walked Out Of The Hospital Without Signing The Birth Certificate. The Name Is Not The Issue , However I Would Just Like To Let People Know What The Hennipen County Has Done To Me And Mrs.Grosser Hennipen County And Mississippi And The Ones I Blame For This Mess. I Was Never Told About Any Special Needs , Even When The Paper Work Was Sent to Ms. The Special Needs Came When They Needed A Reason To Hold On To My Grandchildren. Tell Me How Can I Know About Special Needs When I Haven't Been Told About Anything And I Only Get 2 Hour Mall Visits. The Guardian Of Litem Stated That I Didn't Want My Grandchildren Because Of Special Needs.This Is Incorrect. I Have A 40 Year Old Special Needs Brother Whom I Love Dearly. In The Best Interest Of The Children Is Just Something That The System Uses To Keep From Returning Children Home To Their Rightful Families. There Isn't A Day Or Night That Passes That I Don't Think About My Grandchildren. This Has Taken A Tremendous Toll On Me. I Don't Understand How The Foster Parents Can Have More Rights That The Grandparents. There Was Another Child That Didn't Belong To My Son And He Was Immediately Placed With His Family After One Visit. The Same Judge And Guardian Of Litem. They Made 4 Visits To MY Home And Every time Something Was Wrong. I Don't Want To Make This A Black Or White Issue , But I Do Have A Question For The Public. Would You Take Mrs. Grosser Grandchildren And Send Them To Mississippi With Me ?

houndog2g
houndog2g

How sad for these two girls that the adults involved can't do what is truly in the best interest of the children. That would be to split custody and learn to work together...as adults...as a family...as a group of people putting aside their differences to ensure the well-being of two children that were put through hell before they were even born.

kellyatwork32
kellyatwork32

It's a tough call, no doubt about it. But the kids are 3 years old now. These are the only parents that they know. How about they get to remain the parents, and the grandmother gets to be a grandmother? I would think it best that the families work together to raise the children. It's obvious that both families love them, why can't they come together, for the girls and work on a solution that includes all parts of their family in their lives? Have the court assign a mediator/councellor to work with the two families to smooth over all the hard feelings that 3 years of court have caused and get them working together. To relocate them to the grandparents permanently now, after primary bonding is going to damage those girls for life. That's real. I've seen the damage it can cause. Don't think they'll forget it.

victorialeejenkins
victorialeejenkins

I am a foster parent of more than 25 years and we were taught to take great care of the children but don't get attached because they may go home or to other family members and or family friends. We were also taught to prepare the children to go home and not make it hard on the Bio families.

I have seen in more recent years when these cute little black children grow up to be not so cute teenagers if they last that long in these adoptive homes. They give them back, drop them off at St Joseph Home for Children or never return to pick them up from respite care.

Guess what when those behaviors come out and that those Adoptive parents start to wonder what did I get myself into and quickly figure away out “umm” I will give them back there not my Bio children I can always get more foster kids.

The children asking why did you adopt me you know my real family wanted me and you kept me from being with them you and the courts decided what was in the best interest of the children. “No one ever ask the children

That’s why I cry myself to slept at night because I know inside my little soul something is missing to young to figure it out but as I get older I want to know more and more who I am and where I came from and why is my skin different from your kids?

 Does Anyone Care Anymore!!!

knoxboy_knoxboy
knoxboy_knoxboy

@ Jason that couldn't be more far from the truth. The truth is as soon as we learned of the first child we stepped forward and as soon as we learned she was pregnant again we stepped forward. You have a capable and willing family fighting for the second child before she was born. Where is the justice in that Sir you tell me. I have been at every visit and trust me these children won't have a problem adapting if moved. If the foster parents just truly genuine good people who want to help. What about the children in the system that don't have anyone coming for them. I don't know about adoption but I know right and wrong. And I know about the Bible just look to the hills brother cause we surely are

knoxboy_knoxboy
knoxboy_knoxboy

@ Jason. It is more a bout FAMILY to us than it is about race. However race does play a part when it comes to the arrogance of this Caucasian family to think they are better and can do better by the girls. The affect on moving the girls now are minimal compared to long term problems of being adopted. No matter how good they have it they are going to feel that they were unwanted by their family and that is not true. When they grow up they are going to hate the Grosser's for ripping them from family make no mistake that is the case here. My mother has been fighting to get these children since the first child was 2 mo old and for the youngest before she was born. What does FAMILY mean. It angers me to think that basically for some people it has no meaning when it comes to children and adoption and that is an outrage. I mean how can you be so arrogant to say that it bares no meaning for us. This is the thinking that has gotten us to where we are today in America and its ridiculous.

jason.dorweiler
jason.dorweiler topcommenter

I dont know if A1 even read the story but it seems pretty clear to me that if the parents couldn't do anything morally right to bring 2 kids in, then the adopted parents obviously should be keeping these children, especially after a year of taking them in.

Their biological grandmother; I have no doubt, probably could raise them right, but look at what has happened now. The state fucked this case up a long time ago and now everyone has to pay on both sides. Unfortunate for both, but the kids emotional pain would be very heavy if they had to be moved yet again, after a scary 9 months and being brought into the world, to be placed in such a confusing situation would be unbearable. They are finally stable, healthy, and have what seems like fantastic parents who are open to adoption and do not see skin color as an issue. 

What does race have to do with this? We play that card every time and it's really annoying that were still a nation that heavily relies on that to get by. Heritage is understandable, but it can be taught all the same. I really hope the supreme court does whats right here, and keeps this case the way it is, especially if the girl is 3 now. 

Jason

(waiting for the race card and of course since this is CP, ignorant posters)

A1batross
A1batross

It's good that adoption is being critically examined. For too long babies have been treated as commodities by adoption agencies, their rights as eventual adults abridged without the consent of impartial, uncoerced advocates, their best interests trumped by entitlement ([wealthy/white] couples "deserve" babies) and cultural bigotry (a child is "always" better off growing up in a [heterosexual/wealthy/married/religion/America/white] home." Adoption agencies have leagued with churches and desperate childless parents to suppress the rights of adults who were adopted as children, making it easier for agencies to engage in questionable practices, while adoptees and their children face greater risk of inherited disease due to lack of medical background.

The welfare of children should be the SOLE determinant of their circumstances, and if that means being raised by a willing relative then the needs of childless couples ought not be a factor. To protect children, governmental oversight and transparency in the process must be insisted upon. And adults who were adopted as children ought to have ALL rights to their backgrounds, because they did not agree to any of the circumstances of their adoption and can't be bound by a third party contract at the cost of a greater risk of inherited disease.

[Full disclosure, I am one of the founders of Bastard Nation (http://www.bastards.org ) one of the nation's largest and oldest adoption-rights organizations.]

Sammy L Cater
Sammy L Cater

i hope they win...... in my personal experience with Minnesota they DO NOT care about children.... a child with no drs note that misses almost all of grades 1st - 5th 1. no protection called 2. still passed pfffffft.......then now im married 3 children husband a police officer, neither of us have criminal history credit rating last checked was 660... my sister lost her children to drugs etc etc etc ,,,, being the biological aunt i am not even considered a plausible environment for the childrens father is part indian ..... :( so they sit year 3 in foster care

victorialeejenkins
victorialeejenkins

@goodgrandmama48

@markeishamay I agree there is so much to be said about being with
family especially when they are as LOVING as Mrs &Mr Dunning they
surround there self with Grand-children everyday I can hear in the
background playing when on the phone. I also attended visit with Mrs
Dunning & her grand girls at Ridgedale and they have a bound with her.
Those little girls would not let Mrs Dunning out of there sight. I am
also a Guardian at Litem and if I would of been on this case my
recommendation would of been send these girls to Mississippi with ther
FAMILY! All Mrs Dunning talks about is her FAMILY, her Church! Again I
see the LOVE and the BOND these GIRLS have with GRANNY!!! I am a
GRANNY....I had a family in my care for five years it HURTS but I had
do what was best for them. FOSTER FAMILIES are AWESOME!

MehndiMoments
MehndiMoments

@victorialeejenkins  Removing these children from the only parents they know can and will cause attachment problems.  The state left the children in the foster too long, and now it is no longer in the children's best interest to take them away from the only parents they have known. 

As an adoptive mother with a biracial son who is now an adult, not everyone gives up.  Not everyone considers children as 'replaceable'.  And not every adult black man raised in a white household regrets his placement.  

FamilyMatters
FamilyMatters

@knoxboy_knoxboy

I mean no disrespect, sir; however, how did your family step forward for the second baby as soon as you learned of the pregnancy?  In your mother's own words, she had no idea there was a second pregnancy, much less a second baby that was born (please see below that was copy and pasted from the article above). 

When Princess was born, Dunning didn't know. She didn't know about her new granddaughter until after her son Aubrey went to check on Princeton, and saw him in the garage.

"I heard Princeton on crack," she remembers, "and my world ended."

Dunning sent her son a bus ticket. When he showed up in Mississippi, his girlfriend, Sutton, was accompanying him.

"They told me they had had a baby," Dunning remembers, "but that the baby was with [Sutton's] sister, so I figured I would get them in rehab first and then go up and get the baby."

MehndiMoments
MehndiMoments

@knoxboy_knoxboy  The communication between the state foster/adoption agencies really sucks. It's a sad situation. That said, what would be sadder is to have the children removed from the only parents they know. They can and will have problems adapting if you take them away from their mom and dad. Attachment issues are horribly scaring for children. I know right from wrong, and it's wrong to tear children away from their parents... the only parents they've known.  

MehndiMoments
MehndiMoments

@knoxboy_knoxboy Family means the people who have been raising the girls.  That would be the white couple. You can't minimize the trauma it would cause the girls to have their parents torn from them. But rest assured, if you keep the doors open, the girls may want to connect with extended biological family when they are ready. They won't appreciate you ripping them from the arms of their parents... the only parents they know.

jason.dorweiler
jason.dorweiler topcommenter

@knoxboy_knoxboy Are the Grossers not a family that can raise children just like any other household? I thought it was the states decision to put them in foster care because there was no parent available. I know something about adoption and how messy it can be when these kids are just put in care with someone who could care less, but that isn't the case here. If the Grossers are respectable people then the kids will grow into adulthood knowing how they came to be and the situation behind it all. Hard decisions are made and that is life. I didn't say family has no significance, just that these kids didn't have family when they needed it the most. That's the truth.

victorialeejenkins
victorialeejenkins

@Angel L Bernard Cater Angel when this is over go back and get your family members nobody can ever LOVE yours like you can!!! Fluffy

victorialeejenkins
victorialeejenkins

@Forthesakeofchildren @victorialeejenkins If they would of gave the girls back when the child left the hospital the foster parents would not be attached to these children. I am speaking from experience! If they were your girls would you want another family to raise them? Or maybe you would but Mrs Dunning wants her grand-daughters. I speaking as a Great-Grand Mother, Grand-Mother, a Mother, I would of never wanted anyone raisng my children I have FAMILY! We must quit playing GOD with other people's children...What goes Around comes Around! What for you and your family Bless you!

knoxboy_knoxboy
knoxboy_knoxboy

That is not accurate my mother sent the mother back to mn because she was still using and she got pregnant. I will be the first to admit that was a great mistake had the baby been born in Mississippi she would have been in my mothers care from birth. It is on record that my mother called the DHS worker and told them the mother was on her way back and that she was pregnant and if it belonged to her son she wanted to adopt that child also. So the fight for the second child started before she was born. I have court documents that will prove that the Grossers are Liers my mother constantly contacted the workers about the girls. For one my mother was never contacted about the first child my mother called them.

victorialeejenkins
victorialeejenkins

@jason.dorweiler @knoxboy_knoxboy Jason : "ALL" families struggle with something and not exempt from these disease or addition weather it be:

Alcohol (addition), Cocaine (addition), Meth (addition), Gambling (addition) and if not your blessed no one is extempt. Some times the BIO parents may not able to care for there children for whatever reason! That's why GOD made families.. Foster Parents are wonderful I am a foster parent but I know when GOOD FAMILY member step up to the plate it's time for us to back off!

 
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