Split the baby: Two sides of an adoption battle

This shouldn't be dragged out any longer.  I think the process of giving these babies to their grandmother should start now.  Maybe start out with regular weekly visits, then daily, then weekends, then weeks at a time until they work the adoptive parents out (unless both sides agree to allow the adoptive parents visitations, which would be nice).  No offense to the adoptive parents, they have done a wonderful job and I applaud them, but I do believe that family members should get children who have been removed from their biological parents.  It's not their skin...it's the fact that they are family.  With that being said, I also believe that the children should not be "snatched" out of the only home and family they have ever known, which is why I stated above that it should be a process.  I do believe that just taking children away would be absolutely horrifying to the babies emotionally, but if it is done slowly, I believe the children will be just fine; they would need just a little more love and attention at first as they fully acclimated to their new home and surroundings. 

If these children are not given to their family, I think there could be problems in the long run, especially when these baby girls find out that their grandmother fought so hard for them, and that the reason they were not placed with their family was because of the Grosser's selfishness.  There could be a lot of resentment later, so if you are reading this, Mr. and Mrs. Grosser, you should definitely consider that.  These babies belong with their grandmother and family (and again I stress...placing the babies with Grandma should be done slowly as to not emotionally harm them). 

I am the mother of five boys.  My husband and I recently had my niece (my brother's daughter) placed with us for 10 months.  She was taken from her parents because of the same thing; her parents are crack cocaine users and Rx drug abusers.  For various reasons, we allowed my niece to go to foster care with the belief that she would be going home to her parents in just a few short months.  That was the biggest mistake of my life.  Turns out her parents will not change their ways, so we are now going to adopt my niece.  Right now, she is with an African-American foster family and I have no problem with that at all.  I know she is being properly cared for at the moment.  And if I were not here to adopt my niece, I would not have a problem if the foster family loved my niece enough to want to adopt her...because I do not believe that skin color makes you who you are.  That's just my opinion, I thought I would give it because it was mentioned in the article above. 

At any rate, I hope to have my niece adopted and back in my home as soon as possible...because she will be having a new baby brother or sister soon who I will also be adopting (and unfortunately, it will be a cocaine-addicted baby).  It will be hard on our family financially, physically, and emotionally to take on two additional children, as we have one who is 21 and in college, a 16-year-old, a 10-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 7-month-old, but we will make it work...because we are family and belong together. 

Good luck to you, Mrs. Dunning - I hope your grandbabies are with you soon.  Much love. 

http://blip.tv/for-women-only/carver-county-treatment-of-parents-6542866

My latest video I made in the fight for my grandchildren. I had a moment where I had to breakdown....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX5dfiNNxuM

Ms.Dorthy & family my heart goes out to you. I am just now hearing about your case.  I am disappointed that I haven't heard about it before now. I have a youtube channel but there are 3  other black youtubers with fan bases much larger than my own, theskorpionshow, lovelyti2002, and muchlovefromkentucky. The quickest way to reach them is to direct message them on twitter. I have spoke with  muchlovefromkentucky (ms.nina) online before and she is passionate about issues like this. Lovelyti2002 is also very passionate, the skorpionshow has the largest base with over 100k subscribers and they report on issues that affect the black community also. 

This story touched my heart because I am a former foster child. Today I am a married mother of 3 but I grew up in the alameda county foster care system. My friends think I some what of a nut because I think that the foster care system and the prison system is connected and is basically 21st century slavery.  Foster care and prison is big business here in america, and no one talks about it. My mother was a drug addict. In the early 80s her drug of choice was herione and she later graduated to crack cocaine. Like you my grandmother and cousins and aunts fought for the five of us (4girls 1 boy). However my mother had told the judge she didn't want us placed with family. Of course the judge listened. We were placed with a black family. It was a nightmare, I won't torture you with the details but lets just say at 40 i still have nightmares. The courts are full of bs to think that race doesn't affect you. When you grow up in a family that is not your blood there is an emptiness that grows and grows. It is going to be especially hard for them being black females growing up in a white family. Here in California many agencies require that the parents keep the children in touch with their cultural roots. In our case my grandmother was allowed visitation. I didn't appreciate it back then. I wanted to just fit .in my foster family so bad, and they looked down on my granny. In the end my grandmothers love won. No matter how ugly I acted she would be at every one of my events. Years later I asked my mother why she did't place us with family. She told me she did it to hurt my grandmother. In the end it hurt us. My brother has been in and out of prison. I just found my 3 sisters 5 years ago after being split for over 30 years. My sisters were adopted while my brother and I stayed with the first foster family. America's foster care system is broken and in desperate need of repair.

Don't stop fighting, these people are wrong! You should have been contacted first, another thing you need to make a youtube channel and do a video so we can pass it around. I know i'm blabbering and all over the place so I will end it here. I want to leave you my info please email me and if you can you need to do another change.org petition I went to sign it and it was closed. Your story should have been viral every grandmother needs to have signed your petition. I do hair for a living and my youtube channel is queenofweaves.com you can inbox me there or on Facebook. Please let me know how I can help. I'm praying with you and for you. ~DeDe

DeDe Hunt (Sacramento CA on Facebook)

queenofweaves@gmail.com 

I 100 percent support the Dunning family.black people are unique. black hair and skin must be cared for differently, and the majority of white people DO NOT know the proper way to care for our hair. I personally know several people african-american people adopted by white families, and they are extremely confused and not in touch with who they are as people because they were not raised with black families. I think that the Gossers are an awesome family but the Children's place is with their biological family so they can know who they are as black women, and unfortunately, thats not something that a white family can teach them. short-term it is going to be difficult with growing up in 1 family in changing to another but in the long run it will help these young girls grow into strong black women. Just imagine how difficult it would be for these children to learn that black people used to be slaves to white people and go home to a white family after learning that information? or what about the first time they get called the N Word? how can a white family deal with that in an acceptable way? they don't know what it's like to go through racism because they've never had to deal with it. culture always needs to be taken into consideration in adoption cases because it so much of who we are as people is our culture. Keep fighting for your babies Mrs. Dunning!

Keep fighting! It is clear you care deeply about your family. It is unfortunate that the foster family became so attached while knowing you were interested in custody.

Nobody knows the heartache and pain of what I have experienced. I experienced the most difficult thing when I was never contacted. No one in my family was contacted by the county and that's court records. I am their biological grandmother. Nothing can take the place of that no matter what. I love my grandchildren unconditionally. This fight will never end until i get my grandchildren even if I have to take it to the highest court in the land. I have been laying awake at night wondering about my grandchildren. Any real Christian , and any real loving grandparent would definitely understand my heartache and what I am going thru. I was never told that my husband had to go to school and be certified in order for us to receive the girls until the last minute. I would like for someone to please answer this question : Why did Judge Quintons and Ms. L J Johnson  send a child to California with an aunt and this aunt never went to school or had to be certified ? They walked into this womans home and stayed less than 20 minutes yet they approved her to have her nephew. All Of these children share the same mother. All of these children were born with the same drugs in their system. Why is it that I was denied visitation with the girls for a little over a year ? Why is it that the other children who aren't my grandchildren weren't classified as special needs ? Why is it that my girls were singled out and declared special needs ? I see it as a way for the state and other family to keep a hold onto my grandchildren. I'm not saying that my granddaughters may not have problems , but what i'm asking is why is it that the special needs weren't mentioned until later on. None of the documents sent to The Mississippi Welfare System from Minnesota EVER stated that my granddaughters had special needs. I love my grandchildren unconditionally. Do you think that I would be fighting this hard if I didn't love my grandchildren ? Do you think that I am so ignorant that I wouldn't be able to provide proper care to my granddaughters ? People need to research the facts about declaring the foster children specials needs. It is stated that the doctors never declared my granddaughters special needs until Mrs.Grosser kept pushing the issue.If the Wayzata School District tested my grandchildren and never declared them as special needs would you say that the school district was lying ? If my granddaughters are in fact declared special needs this family will receive almost 3,000 per child. Its proven fact in Minnesota.  Why is it that the courts would choose to leave my grandchildren in this home where they are making this family rich when they can be home with their family and I don't want not one red cent of any money. I Just want my grandchildren. I worked for a Pediatrician ( Dr. Grant) for over 30 years. He is very prominent on the coast. He told me that he would help me in every way possible and help me with any medical care that the girls will need. When i receive negative feedback it only makes me fight harder. I will make a difference.As of today I have sent over 30 envelopes to newspapers , attorney generals , and the white house about this.I will make a difference. I am becoming a Fannie Lou Hamer , Rosa Parks , And Dr.Martin Luther King. I will fight for justice and bring light to this. There are thousands of people who have reached out to me from Minnesota about this same problem stating that they are taking their children as well and placing them in home with foster families as well when they too have family members with clear backgrounds to take their children. We as a community will make a difference. My Family means more to me than life itself. My grandchildren hold a very special place in my heart. I want them to know who I am . 

I am going to be very blunt here. You sound STUPID. I have detailed records to prove no one from our family was contacted. My mother or Gramma as you call it contacted the county when the first baby was 2 mo. I also have very detailed document's of correspondence's from The foster mom and county workers over years worth and they tell a very different story. The girl's were fine no special needs. The Grosser's never wanted the second child that is documented. They were fine with the girl's leaving until the first visit my mom asked questions about their religion. Views were different and everything took a turn. Then the lies began the girl's have special needs Gramma don't want them if they do ect ect ect. If the Grosser's are your friends it's cool I get that support your friends but don't speak for God especially if you don't have the facts Liv Grosser is a lier I can prove that she knows im telling the truth and so does God. I haven't heard Mr Grosser lie so I can't speak to that. Ask your friends to share the paper work with you read it for yourself. Then see if you feel the same. Ill let you read the lies I welcome anyone to come read it for yourself.

These girls have their own experience. Yes, those girls do not just sit up on the shelf waiting for whoever wants to call them kin. The girls have been formed into a family. The best situation would had been if 'Gramma' would let those people-God chose, to love and care for the girls, to raise them. In the meantime Gramma can visit, and after trust has been established, the girls can go for extended periods of visitation.

Race should have never been considered into the process of adoption. I didn't see anyone stopping Gramma from raising those girls, expect Gramma. There were many attempts from what the records show to get the girls with kin. Months of no contact? Step daddie not wanting any part then after months he finally steps up? Those two facts make me very concerned with the kin.

The family that has been formed has NO use of drugs. They are firmly rooted into their community. There is no-one that hasn't said NO to the process to adopt the girls. The girls were allowed visitation with their kin. This shows good intentions from the start.

I believe that splitting the baby was never an option. The God-created family is the only place the girls should be raised. I hope that Gramma and family can be productive for the good of the girls.

    I am the daughter of Walter K. Grant who commented below. I have known Mrs. Dorothy my whole life (16 years) and I know what kind of person she is. And that is an amazing one. I have never seen someone fight this hard to get what they want and deserve. I know I would never be able to do what she is doing. Doesn't this alone show how much of a fit grandmother she is and will continue to be for her grandchildren? Not only is she determined, but she is the hardest worker I've ever seen. She will do whatever it takes, work as long as it takes, to provide for her family and friends. She would give you the shirt off her back. I have witnessed her friendship with my mother for years and how they continuously help each other when they are in need and I'm sure my mother would agree with me when I say she is dear to our family, and in fact, we would consider her a part of our family. And while I do see the Grosser's point of view in this situation, you can't deny family. At the end of the day that's all we have. And Mrs. Dorothy's and those babies' family is huge in number and in heart. Why should they be denied them? 

I am aware that I am no expert as I am only a child, but I can tell you something an adult may not be able to tell you....I see this as a case of love, not a case of the law or a case of race or anything of that sorts..I see this from the point of view of a kid and I can truly tell you Mrs. Dorothy is one hundred percent the most fit grandmother, mother, wife, and friend. She feels family is what matters most, and that might be the most true thing I've ever heard. 

-Olivia 

    I am a pediatrician in Gulfport, Mississippi. I have known Mrs Dunning for 33 years and have taken care of several members of her family. I can certainly attest that Mrs. Dunning and her husband are wonderful people and they would go to the ends of the earth to care for and do what is right for their grandchildren. She has several other grandchildren for whom she has done just that for years now. She has a large extended family and a group of friends from all walks of life . She is not just trying to gain possession of these children, but trying to do what is best for them. Every resource these children may need medically is available to them in this area.

     I am sure the Grosser's are wonderful people or they would not be doing what they are doing. However, there is a certain wealth in extended family (irrespective of race) that cannot be matched in any other set of circumstances. Certainly early attachment is important to children as the other pediatricians have attested to, but children are very resilient. The Grossers are to be commended for what they have given to these girls that will last a lifetime, but true family bonds and their connection to their biologic family was begun at conception and will also last a lifetime.

-Walter K. Grant M.D.

@forthesakeofthechildren The doors will always be open no matter what. Somethings are worth paying the ultimate price for first is God second is family. This country applaud young men and women who give their life for this Godless country. But e you expect people to lay down when it comes to our children good luck with that. What world do you people live in. The sad part is this family claims to be followers of Jesus Christ. Would Jesus say leave the kids they are attached its too late. No he would not. I was taught by my mother and father that you can do All things through Christ Jesus including get over and crossing jordan. My mother tries to be such a good Christian she will not mention Mrs Grosser battle with cancer but how can you over look it. From a judicial stand point or a Biblical stand point. It reminds me of the Pharo had he just let the people go he could have spared himself and his family from great pain and affliction God does not lie his word shall not return void. So keep thinking you are doing Gods will. You are a lie and the truth is not in you. I was in the first visit I remember the conversation I know why this whole thing went sour so do you Mrs Grosser and so do you LJ Johnson. God will reward each according to your deeds.

I Am The Grandmother Of These Two Grandchildren. I Want The People To Know That I Have Been Fighting For My Granddaughter Since She Was 2 Months Old. Minnesota Did Everything in Their Power To Stop Me For Visiting. I Asked To Fly Up And I Was Told No. I Was Told That I Couldn't Ask Any Questions Concerning The Case Until I Had A Valid Foster Care Licencing And A Background Check. I Want People To Know That The State Of Minnesota Never Did A Kinship Search Or Contacted Anyone In My Family. I Had A Sister Who Was Licensed To Foster Parent. I Asked If My Sister Could Care For The Girls Until I Had My Foster Care License . They Denied Me. Everything I Have Said From Day One Is In court Documentation. I Have Never Switched My Story. I Want People To Know That I Cannot Help What My Son Has Done But I Still Love Him Unconditionally. The Day My Granddaughter Was Born Her Mother Called To Mississippi , Got My Full Name And Named Her After ME Dorothy Faye Knox. Yes She Walked Out Of The Hospital Without Signing The Birth Certificate. The Name Is Not The Issue , However I Would Just Like To Let People Know What The Hennipen County Has Done To Me And Mrs.Grosser Hennipen County And Mississippi And The Ones I Blame For This Mess. I Was Never Told About Any Special Needs , Even When The Paper Work Was Sent to Ms. The Special Needs Came When They Needed A Reason To Hold On To My Grandchildren. Tell Me How Can I Know About Special Needs When I Haven't Been Told About Anything And I Only Get 2 Hour Mall Visits. The Guardian Of Litem Stated That I Didn't Want My Grandchildren Because Of Special Needs.This Is Incorrect. I Have A 40 Year Old Special Needs Brother Whom I Love Dearly. In The Best Interest Of The Children Is Just Something That The System Uses To Keep From Returning Children Home To Their Rightful Families. There Isn't A Day Or Night That Passes That I Don't Think About My Grandchildren. This Has Taken A Tremendous Toll On Me. I Don't Understand How The Foster Parents Can Have More Rights That The Grandparents. There Was Another Child That Didn't Belong To My Son And He Was Immediately Placed With His Family After One Visit. The Same Judge And Guardian Of Litem. They Made 4 Visits To MY Home And Every time Something Was Wrong. I Don't Want To Make This A Black Or White Issue , But I Do Have A Question For The Public. Would You Take Mrs. Grosser Grandchildren And Send Them To Mississippi With Me ?

How sad for these two girls that the adults involved can't do what is truly in the best interest of the children. That would be to split custody and learn to work together...as adults...as a family...as a group of people putting aside their differences to ensure the well-being of two children that were put through hell before they were even born.

It's a tough call, no doubt about it. But the kids are 3 years old now. These are the only parents that they know. How about they get to remain the parents, and the grandmother gets to be a grandmother? I would think it best that the families work together to raise the children. It's obvious that both families love them, why can't they come together, for the girls and work on a solution that includes all parts of their family in their lives? Have the court assign a mediator/councellor to work with the two families to smooth over all the hard feelings that 3 years of court have caused and get them working together. To relocate them to the grandparents permanently now, after primary bonding is going to damage those girls for life. That's real. I've seen the damage it can cause. Don't think they'll forget it.

I am a foster parent of more than 25 years and we were taught to take great care of the children but don't get attached because they may go home or to other family members and or family friends. We were also taught to prepare the children to go home and not make it hard on the Bio families.

I have seen in more recent years when these cute little black children grow up to be not so cute teenagers if they last that long in these adoptive homes. They give them back, drop them off at St Joseph Home for Children or never return to pick them up from respite care.

Guess what when those behaviors come out and that those Adoptive parents start to wonder what did I get myself into and quickly figure away out “umm” I will give them back there not my Bio children I can always get more foster kids.

The children asking why did you adopt me you know my real family wanted me and you kept me from being with them you and the courts decided what was in the best interest of the children. “No one ever ask the children

That’s why I cry myself to slept at night because I know inside my little soul something is missing to young to figure it out but as I get older I want to know more and more who I am and where I came from and why is my skin different from your kids?

 Does Anyone Care Anymore!!!

@ Jason that couldn't be more far from the truth. The truth is as soon as we learned of the first child we stepped forward and as soon as we learned she was pregnant again we stepped forward. You have a capable and willing family fighting for the second child before she was born. Where is the justice in that Sir you tell me. I have been at every visit and trust me these children won't have a problem adapting if moved. If the foster parents just truly genuine good people who want to help. What about the children in the system that don't have anyone coming for them. I don't know about adoption but I know right and wrong. And I know about the Bible just look to the hills brother cause we surely are

@ Jason. It is more a bout FAMILY to us than it is about race. However race does play a part when it comes to the arrogance of this Caucasian family to think they are better and can do better by the girls. The affect on moving the girls now are minimal compared to long term problems of being adopted. No matter how good they have it they are going to feel that they were unwanted by their family and that is not true. When they grow up they are going to hate the Grosser's for ripping them from family make no mistake that is the case here. My mother has been fighting to get these children since the first child was 2 mo old and for the youngest before she was born. What does FAMILY mean. It angers me to think that basically for some people it has no meaning when it comes to children and adoption and that is an outrage. I mean how can you be so arrogant to say that it bares no meaning for us. This is the thinking that has gotten us to where we are today in America and its ridiculous.

i hope they win...... in my personal experience with Minnesota they DO NOT care about children.... a child with no drs note that misses almost all of grades 1st - 5th 1. no protection called 2. still passed pfffffft.......then now im married 3 children husband a police officer, neither of us have criminal history credit rating last checked was 660... my sister lost her children to drugs etc etc etc ,,,, being the biological aunt i am not even considered a plausible environment for the childrens father is part indian ..... :( so they sit year 3 in foster care