Polyamory in the Twin Cities

A peek at the metro community that believes love is too big for just two

"It's always an issue," she says.

Jami's first experience with jealousy in a poly situation came when she was in a quad with three other people early on.

"It wasn't that we didn't like each other or anything, it's just one of those things where sometimes your needs and the other people dating within that quad don't match up. We broke up, but I'm still great friends with them."

Jeffrey Alan Love
Jeffrey Alan Love

Unlike Carrie and her triad, Jami is bisexual. This made Jami's coming out to family even more interesting.

"My siblings were totally fine with me being bi, but opposed to the idea of being poly," she explains. "But my grandparents were totally fine with it. They just said they wanted me to be happy with the right man or woman or both."

Whether it's misconceptions or a different moral compass, Jami believes those who have the biggest problem with her as a poly have one key reason for their distaste: "People have a problem with the idea that I can have my cake and eat it too."

And while she may be correct, she's also quick to insist that being poly isn't just about sex.

"To me, being poly is about building open, honest, lasting relationships. I just believe that some people are meant to be monogamous and others aren't. I tried being monogamous and I realized it's not for me.

"Some people say that being poly isn't an orientation like being straight or gay, that it's a choice. Personally, I think that the fact I don't have to be everything for just one person is fantastic. It's just better." 

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