Conservatives stir the pot again

Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann open their mouths

During his RNC speech last Wednesday, T-Paw took a shot at local chef turned big-time TV star Andrew Zimmern.

"But you know, President Obama isn't as bad as people say, he's actually worse," Pawlenty said during an attempt at humor. "The president takes more vacations than that guy on the Bizarre Foods show." Of course, Zimmern is the host of Bizarre Foods.

Zimmern took to his blog and published an I-ain't-too-mad-at'cha response to T-Paw and his RNC dig.

"I loved the shout out," Zimmern began. "It would have been nice if you mentioned my name since we have known each other pretty well for a dozen or so years, but I understand you're being respectful and not making it personal."

But you should never question the work ethic of a man willing to eat testicles for a living.

"President Obama and I share a lot of passion and commitment to same issues, one of which is work ethic," Zimmern continued. "I only take off a few days per month, I think I had 4 in August and only have 2 or 3 days off in September. And on those days I was sneaking work calls while my wife wasn't looking and returning messages on my phone 'til the wee hours."

Nice to see Minnesota's best-known culinary celebrity take the high road with a response that stays on point and away from personal attacks.

Michele the matchmaker

Ladies, Michele Bachmann wants you to know that you're best off voting for Mitt Romney this November because...he'll make gas cheaper?

Strange as that may sound, it's Bachmann's party and she can use her own brand of logic if she wants to.

During the RNC, Bachmann has used her face time on the major cable news networks to make a case that, crazy "legitimate rape" and "forcible rape" talk aside, women will actually be better off with Mittens and Ann Romney in the White House.

She faces an uphill battle. Polling last month showed that single ladies prefer Obama to Romney by a whopping 60 to 31 margin. A new poll released last week shows Obama with a 52 to 36 lead among all likely-to-vote women.

But Bachmann is doing her best to close that gap. During a Fox News appearance from the RNC in Tampa, she was asked, "Is there a gender gap [between Obama and Romney]?"

"Well, the gender gap really is with Barack Obama, because Mitt Romney wins with men, as you said, and also with married women," Bachmann began, before taking the first exit to crazytown. "He, Barack Obama, had an advantage with single women, but I think again people — what single women want more than anything is security, and they want to have also a job, and I don't think we should be pandering because women are very capable, competent, intelligent people."

Maybe she's on to something. After all, who needs equal pay, access to birth control, abortion rights, or cheap health care when you've got cheap gas?

Republicans against porn

While running for president last year, Michele Bachmann became the first candidate to sign a pledge to ban "all forms of pornography." Her extreme anti-porn stance was viewed as an outlier within the Republican Party, as the GOP's 2008 platform didn't even mention porn writ large and instead focused entirely on cracking down on child pornography.

Last week in Tampa, the GOP approved a platform that for the first time in party history calls for a crackdown on sexually explicit material involving adults, which is roughly a $10 billion industry.

"Current laws on all forms of pornography and obscenity need to be vigorously enforced," the platform says.

The GOP's approval of the unexpectedly tough language is fraught with irony. For starters, the GOP is the party of deregulation, right? So we're left to assume that morality policing is a higher priority for Republicans than remaining true to the party's keep-hands-off-businesses credo.

Secondly, earlier this year, the party's official presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, accepted the maximum possible individual campaign contribution from Daniel Staton, the board chairman of the company that owns Penthouse

 
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