By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
So Jasmer cobbled together old footage of a car crush and sent it out to Tea Party activists all over the country. A producer helped him edit the footage so that the moment USA-1's front tires come down on the car hoods, a word flies at the screen.
"Obama Care." Smash.
"Global Warming." Smash.
"Bloated Government." Smash .
Michele Bachmann's people passed. So did Tea Party organizations and FreedomWorks. Neither Glenn Beck nor Sean Hannity answered.
The day before the church car crush, Jasmer had his producer put it up on YouTube, hoping it would go viral. So far, it has 486 views.
Jasmer hoists himself into USA-1's seat and waves gawkers out of the way. The sound of the engine rips through the cold air, filling it with the smell of burning gasoline. USA-1 rumbles deafeningly toward the row of cars.
Jasmer hits the gas. At the moment the wheels touch the first car, he slams the throttle and USA-1's front end leaps several feet into the air, roaring like a chainsaw. The front tires crash down on the first car's hood. The back wheels pop up and Jasmer guns it again, bouncing the truck across the row of junkers.
Suddenly, the truck lists to one side. The front right wheel slides off the last jalopy. USA-1 teeters on the brink of tipping, then comes to rest hanging at a 45-degree angle.
Jasmer kills the angry engine. The crowd titters delightedly.
"This has just become a much better show!" a man sniggers.
Jasmer's assistant leaps on top of the cars to get Jasmer's instructions. After several tense moments, Kron harnesses the left side of the truck to a Bobcat loader. Using the Bobcat as an anchor, Jasmer restarts the engine and drives off the pile, righting USA-1.
The crowd claps lukewarmly.
Jasmer guns it toward the cars again, leaping up on top of the row and driving back and forth five times before coming to a stop right in the middle. The cars look like flattened pizza boxes.
Jasmer clambers down to earth and walks briskly back to his semi, waving to the quickly dissipating crowd.
"I'm out of practice, I don't know what happened," Jasmer mutters.
There's no perceptible change in his voice, but Jasmer's blue eyes are wide and bright.
"When it doesn't go perfectly, I'm—I don't want to say embarrassed," he says. "But it bugs me."
Jasmer discovers that he's broken the truck's axle, making the mistake particularly costly. The repairs will cost more than he made that day.
Kron comes up as Jasmer is signing glossy photos of USA-1 for a group of kids.
"You scared me out there!" he says.
"I wasn't scared," says Jasmer coolly. "If you get scared then you better not be out there."