He handed me a Bible, and I thanked him.
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"It's quite a book," I commented. "I've read it one time through and enjoyed most of it. The abuse of children bothered me a little, and the murder, slavery, and sadism left me cold, but I think that Jesus fellow was on to something. Few before him had been such an advocate of the outcasts, the disenfranchised, and the marginalized. It was a giant leap forward in so many ways."
He then asked me if I was gay, and I said, "Who wouldn't be on such a fine Sunday afternoon with the bright sun shining, the bands playing, the people dancing, the children running around with balloons, and the aroma of barbecue in the air?"
"I mean are you a homosexual?" he said.
"No, I'm not," I answered. "How 'bout yourself."
He seemed taken aback by the question and said he couldn't be further from a homosexual.
I told him he actually couldn't be closer, what with standing in Loring Park during a gay pride festival.
"Far from homosexuals would be, say, the Canadian Quetico," I argued. "I've been canoeing up there, and it's tough to find another human being, let alone a homosexual."
"What I mean is," he answered, impatiently, "I don't seek the carnal company of the same sex. I view this as a sin."
"Oh, well, you're then probably kicking yourself for being born so late. There were much better stretches in history for folks like you to come along. This is a lousy time to be working that angle. It's kind of like handing out witch-burning pamphlets. I mean, with all due respect, old-timer, that horse left the barn a while ago and ain't due back anytime soon."
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Oh, just that you're coming along at a time in history when gays and lesbians are just about at the finish line. I mean the long, long haul to acceptance is just about over. If you follow the great arc of history, we're within a decade or so of the end of an extraordinary march. Fighting it now is like showing up at some girl's wedding and asking her, as she heads down the aisle, if she wouldn't reconsider and join the convent. Odds just aren't that good."
"Well, I don't think it's as hopeless as you do," the preacher said. "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
"Well, if the Lord is working this thing, there's nothing that mysterious about it. The trajectory is pretty clear to anyone who studies history. With each passing decade it gets less and less difficult to come out and say you're gay. Where it was risky was 1836. That was the last time they executed a guy in Great Britain just for liking men. You'd have been in hog heaven back then."
"I didn't say we should kill homosexuals."
"No, but you wouldn't have been out protesting the execution, either. Anyway, society's acceptance of gays and the improvement in civil rights have been picking up serious steam of late. Look at where we are today and look at where we were just a short time ago. There wasn't so much as one American publicly taking up the cause of gay rights until 1910. There wasn't a newspaper in America that used the word 'homosexual' until The New York Times used it in 1926.
"When the Allies freed the concentration camp victims in 1945, the homosexuals with the pink triangle arm patches were told they weren't being let go. They had to serve out the remainder of their sentences. How many people even know that? In 1966 you could legally refuse to sell alcohol to gays in New York City. The first gay pride parade didn't occur until 1970. It was 1975 before homosexuality was legalized in California. It wasn't until 1980 that gay rights even became a part of a major political party's platform in this county.
"Now it's 2010, and look around. It's clear the war against homosexuality has essentially been lost. The white flag has been spotted. With gays soon able to be open about their sexual orientation in the military, there won't be many workplaces left where folks have to hide who they are.
"So, see what you're up against? Why don't you just grab a beer and get out there and dance with the folks. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, someone once said. And brother, by now you surely realize, you ain't got the stuff to beat 'em."
