By Rob van Alstyne
By Zach McCormick
By Emily Eveland
By Jack Spencer
By Michael Madden
By Reed Fischer
By Emily Weiss
By Emily Weiss
"You Are Opening"
This is straight-outta-Cleveland, Raggedy Andy scuzz rock that gives a hooty-hoo or two for pop-rock hooks, if not sonic fidelity. Pull-quote chorus: "I don't care why you're not over me." Condominium
Given this local crew's taste for grayscale hardcore, the title probably isn't referencing post-punk unit Mission of Burma's 2003 comeback LP. As ever, the medium's the message, even if it's impossible to say what they're saying. Are they miffed they were too late to dub themselves "the Condo F*cks"? Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg
Your grandma's favorite ex-gang banger drops by to underscore his unyielding ubiquity for the 420th time as Perry's slut-pop travelogue of our great nation's more laissez-faire destinations continues unabated. If this pops up in one of the Governator's pro-California tourism adverts, I'll eat my copy of PCD.Slavescene
"Invocation of My Retarded Brother"
Mentally challenged noise-punk aficionados everywhere–or maybe their "normal," long-suffering sibs–finally get their due with this muffled, 57-second burst of Floridian pique.True Womanhood
You know, I'd actually shell out dough to hear Thom Yorke wail, "I plucked a lot of chickens/I pulled the plug on youuuuuuu" over speaker-panning polyrhythms and keening guitars. For reals.