By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
Rep. Michele Bachmann, one of the whitest, most unhip Republicans in Congress, is trying to talk in slang. To a black man! Good effort, Bachmann. Just please, pretty please, don't try it again.
When Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele finished speaking at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, emcee Bachmann responded, "Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man!"
We just hope this really bad slang was Steele's idea. In a Washington Times article, Steele used some choice quotes to get people pumped up about the Republicans' shift to life in hip hop: "We want to apply them (RNC principles) to urban-suburban hip-hop settings," he said. "We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets."
Still, to see a white suburban mom pull the Snoop Dogg routine was even more bizarre. Congresswoman, please: Stop frontin'. —Emily Kaiser
The alleged multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme of Tom Petters is easily one of the biggest fraud cases in Minnesota history, but Petters seems to believe that the state's largest newspaper shouldn't be paying it much attention. That makes sense.
Citing multiple instances of...GASP...a newspaper reporting the facts, Petters's lawyers are requesting to move his trial. The Star Tribune's coverage has ruined the jury pool, they say.
When Petters Group Worldwide headquarters were searched, the media became immediately transfixed with the case, his lawyers say in their motion to move the trial. Well, duh.
The document then goes on to cite reader comments on the Star Tribune's website. Potential jurors! As if the guy who says, "I hope this puke gets life" would actually make it through to the final jury pool.
Strib editor Nancy Barnes responded, "We have covered this story aggressively, as any responsible media organization would."
As for public comments on the Star Tribune's website, Barnes said: "We allow commenting on our website on a wide variety of stories so that readers can share their opinions on stories in the news." —Emily Kaiser
Perhaps the GOP picked the wrong day to launch the "GOP Comeback" site. Yes, they picked a really bad day.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal had his one big moment in the spotlight last week and made a total ass of himself. Even the Republicans can't help hanging their heads a bit. Jindal was picked to give the GOP response to President Obama's address to Congress, and he completely bombed. It was like watching those terribly painful and poorly made history videos in grade school where the narrator is trying too hard to talk stupid for kids and can't control where his voice modulation goes. Or those really scripted tour guides you hear anytime you walk in public in Washington, D.C.
Well, the Republican Governor's Association is putting Jindal center stage on their new site called the "GOP Comeback". And our very own Gov. Tim Pawlenty even has his cute mug up on the website banner.
If this is the new face of the Republicans, we hope they all have future jobs lined up, because this won't last long. Pawlenty should probably jump ship and ride this out independently before these buffoons ruin his career.—Emily Kaiser
There was a big hullabaloo recently when a Detroit newspaper revealed that most of the people in Obama's cabinet tasked with saving the auto industry drove foreign cars. All this talk about cars made City Pages curious: What does the Minnesota delegation drive?
Rep. James Oberstar
You know when your dad all of a sudden decides to get hip and raids your iTunes collection? Well, Oberstar drives around a Chrysler PT Cruiser.
Rep. Collin Peterson
Peterson has two cars. In Minnesota, he drives around an old Buick. But in Washington, he drives something much cooler: an Audi.
Rep. Keith Ellison
Ellison sits behind the wheel of a 2002 Honda Accord, one of most reliable cars around... and a car that is in the price range of even a broke hack who spent the day calling politicians about their cars.
Rep. Michele Bachmann
Sadly, the good representative did not return our repeated phone calls. Look, we're sorry about comparing you to the evil eye of Sauron. But since we don't know what car she drives, we just assume she rides a unicorn.
Rep. John Kline
Rep. Kline's car choice settles the debate over which member of the Minnesota delegation has the most American car. He drives a truck, an American-made Ford Ranger Extended-cab.
Rep. Tim Walz
We'd like to officially bestow the soccer-mom award to Walz. Let us be straight: There is nothing wrong with driving a Dodge Caravan, even in a greenish tone. We know a giant Swede who swears by the minivan, and this guy sweats testosterone, thus making it the manliest of man cars.
Ford Escape Hybrid. This is the model he used as his campaign car. According to his communications adviser, Franken and his wife loved it so much they bought one for themselves. And really, how can you go wrong with a Ford Hybrid? It's pro-union and kind to the earth.
Gov. Tim Pawlenty
T-Paw drives a 1999 Dodge Stratus with well over 100,000 miles. Dude knows how to cut a budget. —Bradley Campbell