Mark Mallman

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What better time to watch a madman crawl across his piano keys on all fours and fellate his microphone than on New Year's Eve, half-drunk on champagne? Mark Mallman, who has made a name for himself by being an equally talented and outrageous piano player and performer, will be playing the Varsity Theater for the third consecutive year, and it only seems to get crazier and more packed with each consecutive party. Last year, HowWasTheShow.com reported that Mallman drove a motor scooter up on stage and across his keyboard, shouting, "That's never been done! No one has ever played piano with a motor scooter!" Lord only knows what glorious ideas he'll have for ringing in the new year this time around, with 'fro-masters E.L.nO. and Gypsy-punk-folkies Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles at his side. 18+. $12. 8 p.m. 1308 Fourth St. SE, Minneapolis; 612.604.0222.
Wed., Dec. 31, 8 p.m., 2008