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FBI MolesInfiltratus maximusPublished on August 26, 2008 at 1:14pmPhysical Characteristics: He's the dude who shows up wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and asking everybody where he can score a "doobie." Natural Habitat: Student co-ops, vegan potlucks, communes. Personal Disposition: Inquisitive. Evolutionary Purpose: To address the grave national security threat posed by nonviolent peace activists. Place on the Food Chain: Just below snitches, just above actual tunnel-burrowing rodents. Feeding Behavior: Nocturnal. Apparently spying on Grannies for Peace and then reporting back to the Feds makes it hard to sleep at night. Mating Call: "Could you spell your last name for me?" Weapon of Choice: Duplicity, schmoozing. Your Best Defense: Not being significant enough to warrant the federal government's attention. Danger Level: Who wants to know? ... PREVIOUS | HOME | NEXT ...
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