Most Popular

Recent Blog Posts

National Features >

  • Broward-Palm Beach New Times

    The Agent from Iran

    How a mother of two ended up in a plot to smuggle high-tech gear to the enemy.

    By Deirdra Funcheon

  • Westword

    Murder By Design

    In life and death, tattoo artist Kauri Tiyme made her mark.

    By Alan Prendergast

  • Village Voice

    My Brother the Slumlord

    Amy Neustein never could resist going public with her family dramas.

    By Elizabeth Dwoskin

  • Houston Press

    The Ghosts of Galveston

    A visit with the hurricane victims that a country forgot.

    By John Nova Lomax

FBI Moles

Infiltratus maximus

Published on August 26, 2008 at 1:14pm

Physical Characteristics: He's the dude who shows up wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and asking everybody where he can score a "doobie."

Natural Habitat: Student co-ops, vegan potlucks, communes.

Personal Disposition: Inquisitive.

Evolutionary Purpose: To address the grave national security threat posed by nonviolent peace activists.

Place on the Food Chain: Just below snitches, just above actual tunnel-burrowing rodents.

Feeding Behavior: Nocturnal. Apparently spying on Grannies for Peace and then reporting back to the Feds makes it hard to sleep at night.

Mating Call: "Could you spell your last name for me?"

Weapon of Choice: Duplicity, schmoozing.

Your Best Defense: Not being significant enough to warrant the federal government's attention.

Danger Level: Who wants to know?

... PREVIOUS | HOME | NEXT ...