Urban cavers fight over turf and free speech
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The 10 weirdest members of Congress
By Caleb Hannan
Mental health parity may finally become a reality
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How They Met
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Attack of the muffin macer
By Aaron Rupar
National "Stand Your Ground" debate hits home
By Jacob Wheeler
Rememebering Twins fan & heckler "Sammy"
Blind date live-tweeted by blogger
Physical Characteristics: Between 4'8" and 6'9" in height, between 18 and 98 years old, Caucasian.
Natural Habitat: Xcel Energy Center and nearby dens of depravity.
Personal Disposition: Resigned to shacking up with a wrinkly old war hero.
Evolutionary Purpose: To perpetuate the illusion of a participatory democracy.
Place on the Food Chain: In the scripted event that is the RNC, they're the studio audience.
Feeding Behavior: Funnel fed like foie gras ducks.
Mating Call: "MAC IS BACK! MAC IS BACK! MAC IS BACK!"
Weapon of Choice: Straw hats, button vests, flag lapel pins, cardboard signs, and their unblinking resolve to travel hundreds of miles to participate in meaningless political theater.
Your Best Defense: Feigning interest.
Danger Level: Delegates have been domesticated and in 2008 are harmless political animals as long as you pet and feed them regularly.
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