Anderson Cooper

Physical Characteristics: Gray-haired, well built, and impeccably moisturized.

Natural Habitat: War-torn regions within close proximity to beachfront cabanas.

Ward Sutton

Related Content

• Support growing for gay marriage in Minnesota, new polling suggests
  May 15, 2012
• President Obama comes out against Minnesota's proposed gay marriage ban
  April 9, 2012
• Obama way ahead of Romney in Minnesota, says new SurveyUSA poll [GRAPHIC]
  May 14, 2012
• MNGOP, $2 million in debt, decries Obama's "out of control spending"
  February 14, 2012
• Poll: Obama crushes all GOP candidates in Minnesota [GRAPHIC]
  January 27, 2012

More About

• Tom Brokaw
• George Michael
• Barack Obama
• 60 Minutes
• Etiquette and Manners

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Weekly Newsletter: Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.

Privacy Policy Cancel Continue

Personal Disposition: Cocky.

Evolutionary Purpose: To show the world that genocide is bad, but can look strangely sexy presented by a sweaty hunk in a muscle shirt.

Place on the Food Chain: Just below Tom Brokaw, just above George Michael—sometimes literally.

Feeding Behavior: Insatiable. Grazes for 24-hour news cycle, then purges for 60 Minutes.

Mating Call: "Excuse me. Excuse me, Senator. Sorry to interrupt, but I've just received breaking news that Barack Obama just shook hands with a Muslim."

Weapon of Choice: Steely glare followed by deep, repetitive, penetrating...questions?

Your Best Defense: A steady diet of hockey.

... PREVIOUS | HOME