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Anarchists
Revoltus chaotica
Published on August 26, 2008 at 1:15pm
Physical Characteristics: They're the guys wearing black handkerchiefs over their faces, like they're about to rob a stagecoach or something.
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Ward Sutton
Natural Habitat: Student co-ops, vegan potlucks, communes.
Personal Disposition: Enraged against machinery.
Evolutionary Purpose: Provide law enforcement the necessary pretense to indiscriminately arrest/shove/beat/mace any and all protesters and bystanders.
Place on the Food Chain: Against food chains, especially fast-food chains.
Feeding Behavior: They live off the scraps of others. In nature, this is known as "bottom-feeding," but they call it "freeganism."
Mating Call: "You do realize that the nation-state is a relatively new, arbitrary construct, right?"
Weapon of Choice: Molotov cocktails, righteous ideals, body odor.
Your Best Defense: A happy childhood.
Danger Level: Their disgust for any and all order keeps them from being a true threat.
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