A field guide to the Republican National Convention

After almost two years of anticipatory civic brouhaha and financial hand-wringing, the Republican National Convention is finally upon us. As you read this, more than 100,000 politicos, protesters, prostitutes, journalists, and other unsavory characters are beginning to descend upon the Twin Cities. Portions of downtown St. Paul streets have been shut off to traffic, transforming the usually fallow district into a carnival-like island of media-contrived madness and rank political posturing.

Morbid curiosity may compel some of you to visit Ground Zero and soak it all in. We don't blame you. But don't go unprepared: You'll need a guide to the free-range human zoo prowling the downtown streets around the Xcel Energy Center. To that end, we provide you this handy field guide to the various species you're sure to encounter along the way.

Meet your new neighbors:

• Broadcast Media

• Nomadic Hookers

• Anarchists

• FBI Moles

• Paulbots

• 9/11 Truthers

• Bloggers

• The Religious Rightists

• Hope-fiends

• CODEPINK

• Eco Terrorists

• Delegates

• Merch Dudes

• Anderson Cooper