Chad Daniels

“I’d like to be in the south watching an old white Democrat vote this year,” comic Chad Daniels told The Daily Show

. “He’s probably going to go Republican because his choices are a black guy or a lady. He’s going to walk out and go “God damn it! I voted Republican! But I had to; they’re the only one with a white guy.” Moving from current events to relationships, he tells an audience: “My wife has an English friend. She’s always bragging. “We invented your language. You wouldn’t even have a language if it wasn’t for us.” I told her, “You spell pneumonia with a ‘p.’ Good thinking. Gnat starts with a ‘g.’” She says, they’re silent. You know what? You better be silent before I stab you in the face with a k-nife!” His wife’s friend got a little meaner. “One day she was at our house holding our wedding picture,” he says. “She said ‘I don’t know why she married you.’ I do. You see the ring barer? That’s our son. Who’s the dummy now?’”
April 29-May 3, 8 p.m.; May 2-3, 10:30 p.m., 2008

 
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