Chad Daniels

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More About

• Chad Daniels
• The Daily Show

“I’d like to be in the south watching an old white Democrat vote this year,” comic Chad Daniels told The Daily Show. “He’s probably going to go Republican because his choices are a black guy or a lady. He’s going to walk out and go “God damn it! I voted Republican! But I had to; they’re the only one with a white guy.” Moving from current events to relationships, he tells an audience: “My wife has an English friend. She’s always bragging. “We invented your language. You wouldn’t even have a language if it wasn’t for us.” I told her, “You spell pneumonia with a ‘p.’ Good thinking. Gnat starts with a ‘g.’” She says, they’re silent. You know what? You better be silent before I stab you in the face with a k-nife!” His wife’s friend got a little meaner. “One day she was at our house holding our wedding picture,” he says. “She said ‘I don’t know why she married you.’ I do. You see the ring barer? That’s our son. Who’s the dummy now?’”
April 29-May 3, 8 p.m.; May 2-3, 10:30 p.m., 2008