By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
I'm in my final year of high school and I decided to come out as a lesbian—a very foolish move as I live in a small town that's not exactly brimming with tolerant people. But I know there are other closeted people at my school and I figured if none of us ever take the first step, it won't ever get any better around here. But the response from my peers was worse than I expected. It's nothing too terrible, no physical violence, and in the beginning I could cope. But it's been a while now and I guess I need some advice. It just isn't getting better and I'm getting tired of it. I have to park two streets away so people don't write shit on my car, someone's hacked my user account and deleted important coursework, I'm either told I'm dressing like a dyke or trying to be a girl depending on what I choose to wear on any given day. I'm avoiding classes that I don't have friends in because even if nothing is said (though it often is), the atmosphere is horrible. And none of this is that big a deal compared to what others have to go through, I know, but I'm sort of at the end of my tether.
Reporting it to staff is useless because they just tell me there isn't any proof and do fuck all. I've got some teachers looking out for me, but they can't really do anything, either. I have some supportive friends, thank God, but it's all just becoming a bit too much, and I need some advice on how to cope through the last few months until I can get out of this shithole town.
Tired And Losing It
Here's what you need to do, TALI: Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that is the nadir, the bottom, the worst it's ever going to get. Once you get out of your high school and out of your shithole hometown and get your ass off to college—to a big state school or private secular university—you won't be the only out queer anymore. Hell, you'll be surrounded by out fags and dykes and bisexuals. I can't promise you that you'll never encounter a bigot again, of course, or that all the fags and dykes you meet over the course of your life will be good people. But you will never again feel as vulnerable or persecuted or alone as you do right now.
And while you're talking to yourself in the mornings, TALI, tell yourself this, too: "Fuck my school, fuck my classmates, and fuck this town." The shits conspiring to make you miserable, TALI, are unlikely to have lives anywhere near as interesting as the one on which you're about to embark. Your classmates are making you miserable now because they know, deep down in their little black hearts, that their lives are going to be duller than day-old douche water compared to yours. Their lives aren't going to be dull because they're straight, TALI, but because the value they place on conformity—that's the reason they feel they have a right to abuse you now—is a prison they've constructed around themselves.
Right now they're making you feel like an outcast, TALI, and the malice stings. But what exactly are they casting you out of? Your high school? Their asshole cliques? That shit town? You haven't been cast out, TALI; you've been liberated. Freed. Sprung.
I'm a 16-year-old gay boy. I grew up in an evangelical Christian home. Being the intelligent chap I am, I forgot to clear the history off the computer after looking at pornography one day last October. I got yelled at until I cried that night, and again the next morning, and every day for two weeks. I wasn't allowed to use the computer for a year, and I was forced to attend church nightly. The electronics embargo has ended, so I can watch porn again at least, but I've been forced into the closet by my parents. They both ask me every night whether or not I have a girlfriend, whether or not there are any cute girls in my grade, stuff like that. My mom tears up every time I say that I don't have a girlfriend. My dad sends me links to antigay articles that describe homosexuality as unnatural and an abomination. Once I made the mistake of sending an article back to him countering his points about homosexuality and he stormed into my room and broke both my cell phone and MP3 player in half.
What the hell should I do about my parents? Will I ever be able to come out? Or will I have to lie to my parents and wait for them to die?
Christian Parents Angrily Chastise
Your parents—your vicious, clueless parents—are abusing their authority and their power, CPAC, which can make it tempting to fantasize about their deaths. Hell, I'm tempted to come over and kill them myself. But your only option right now, I'm sorry to say, is to lie to them. Tell your asshole parents what their assholes ears want to asshole hear: "It was just a phase, Mom and Dad, I was just curious, I'm totally straight, Jesus is the only dude I'll ever get on my knees for, blah blah blah." Get yourself a fag hag, delete gay web-browsing histories, create and refrain from deleting straight web-browsing histories, and bide your freakin' time.