By Rob van Alstyne
By Zach McCormick
By Emily Eveland
By Jack Spencer
By Michael Madden
By Reed Fischer
By Emily Weiss
By Emily Weiss
"The Only Bones That Show"
Randy: "You know, you did your thing, dawg. I wasn't really feeling it, maybe too off-Broadway for this column. It's a no for me." Paula: "Look, you're a really great person with your own offbeat style, and..." Simon, narrowing eyes: "Are you serious? A creepy-dentist's-office-on-Halloween cabaret thing? It's a bit much, isn't it?"
Witness, if you dare, the most gently sinister ad jingle for mid-21st-century children's gifts ever, scored to a synthesized, steel drums-cum-xylophone yo-yo melody. "Comb their soft and luscious nylon fur/Listen close, hear their clockwork hearts work," Barrett coos. Is it just me, or is it really, really chilly in here?
THE RE-UP GANG
"Roc Boys (Remix)"
Jay-Z's 2007 horn-burnished original was already an elated, self-congratulatory triumph, but here the Re-Up Gang hungrily up the ante. On their new download-for-free mixtape, the Gang—unrepentant, underselling Virginia coke-rappers Clipse plus pals Ab Liva and Sandman—gleefully reassert their dope-hustling/dope metaphor-conjuring supremacy. To wit, touché: "Mount Rushmore with the pie/My face etched in a brick/No reminisce, no recall/Hit the corner in the hooptie, my trunk is like a free-for-all, ski-for-all."
"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"
This isn't the golden-oldie cover you think it is, any more than the Shondes are as kickass a gloom-punk band as they'd like to think they are. One thing's for sure: You probably wouldn't want frontwoman Louisa Soloman to go down on you in a theater.
YEA BIG AND KID STATIC
Give 'em props for systematically exploiting the lyrical hip-hop potential inherent in just about everything on the menu at ye olde local deli, but wait a good half-hour after chowing down before cueing up this track on your iPod.