Texas isn't all bad. I mean, there's Austin. Austin's given us Willie Nelson, Dazed and Confused, Bottle Rocket, and a couple of okay Spoon records. And Austin broadcasts The Alex Jones Show, a radio show in which Alex Jones fights the New World Order for three hours a day.
"I'm tired of it," Alex will say in that deep-as-a-barbecue-pit boomer. He'll sigh—he's got a classic sigh—and he'll say, "I'm so tired of their propaganda, I don't know what to say anymore." Then he'll talk for three hours about the trans-American highway, the ruse of global warming, the use of psychotropic drugs in black ops, the mainstream media's attempt to discredit Ron Paul's candidacy, federally sponsored terrorism, the country's disgusting centralized food system, the devaluation of America's currency, and the general forfeiture of our sovereignty. He's transmitting a lot of unpleasant shit, so he needs that great radio voice, that basso profundo that rattles and soothes at the same time, like an expensive subwoofer in the trunk.
Just like a Radiohead album, or a Marvel comic book, or an Alfonso Cuarón movie, he proves that the gloomy truth doesn't have to be a snooze. Jones knows how to entertain. Each broadcast begins with the "Imperial March," from Star Wars. Duhn duhn duhn, duhn, duhn duhn. He's played clips demonstrating how Hillary uses different accents in different regions of the country, he had Charlie Sheen on to talk about 9/11, and he always spins incisive bumper music: Johnny Cash, Rage, Leonard Cohen, the Beatles. Sure, he gets excited, and he can kick up a bluster like Mean Gene interviewing Jesse the Body, but a champion has to keep his energy up when he's fighting global enslavement.
And Jones is only getting better. At 33, he's already been on the air for 12 years, and he holds his own against "serious" guests like David de Rothschild or Pat Buchanan. He's a documentary filmmaker, too, and this year's Endgame: A Blueprint for Global Enslavement was his best film yet, a comprehensive investigation of our brave new world that named names. And his new site, prisonplanet.com, is essential reading. So don't give up, people; we're on the march. And the Empire is on the run.
Steve Marsh is an associate editor at Mpls.St.Paul Magazine.