By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Do you know what an expansion joint is? No, it's not slang for a marijuana cigarette you smoke in hopes of enlarging your worldview. Rather, it's an architectural term referring to the flexible sections that are built into a bridge or brick wall. These ensure that the structure can safely adjust as its construction materials expand and contract in response to changing weather and temperature. Since I expect that you will be building a new metaphorical edifice or renovating an existing one in 2008, I wanted to get you thinking about this. Expansion joints should be a key element in your plans. In fact, now is a perfect time to meditate on how to make them and where they will go.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The average person changes residences 11 times in the course of his or her life. Having lived in 33 different homes so far, I'm way above the norm. What about you, Taurus? I'm guessing that you will either make a major move in the coming year, or else you will find your true spiritual home. Here's a third possibility: You may penetrate more deeply into your existing abode, transforming it from a place of shelter to a sublime sanctuary—re-imagining it and reinventing it and reinhabiting it with an intensity that amazes you..
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I'm guessing your heart will be smarter than usual in 2008. At the very least, love won't make you stupid, as it sometimes has in the past. Here's a suggestion to help ensure that your higher intelligence is always guiding your decisions about intimacy: Develop a habit of looking for the best in your intimate companions. I hope that in the coming months you will frequently utter declarations like the following: (1) "I love how you give me your full attention when we talk." (2) "I love how in touch you are with yourself." (3) "I love that you can make me laugh even when I'm mad." (4) "I love your impeccable sense of timing—how you call or show up at the right moment." (5) "I love how free you make me feel to tell the absolute truth." (These words of praise and more were lifted from the book What I Love Most About You.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the fifth century B.C., the culturally rich city-state of Athens was a democracy, while militaristic Sparta was a dictatorship. But they put aside their differences and came together in a great collaboration to fight off the Persian invasion of Greece. I suspect you may make a similar move in 2008, Cancerian. A person or institution you have regarded as an adversary could become your ally. An influence from which you have always set yourself apart may help you pull off a feat of strength you couldn't have done otherwise.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "It's now possible to fake everything," writes David M. Hopkins in his book Counterfeiting Exposed. He's not just referring to digitally altered photos of celebrities and singers who lip-sync to pre-recorded vocals during their supposed live performances. He means everything in the world, from vintage wines to famous paintings to designer jeans. At least five percent of all products on the planet are phony. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because I'm putting you on high alert for frauds and cons and deceptions of every kind. You should be the top whistleblower of the zodiac in 2008, the chief bullshit-detector and constructive critic.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your main assignment in 2008 is to become highly skilled at feeling good. Does that sound like something you might want to do? If so, here's the beginning of a regimen you could follow: (1) Be constantly taking notes about what experiences give you delight and what situations make you feel at home in the world. (2) Always be scheming to provide yourself with those experiences and situations. (3) Take a vow that nothing will obstruct you from seeking out and creating pleasure, peace, love, wonder, and an intimate connection with life.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "Too much aggression is dangerous," writes George R. Elder in his book An Encyclopedia of Archetypal Symbolism, "but, then, so is too little." One of your main assignments in 2008, Libra, draws on that wise counsel. Unfortunately, you don't have any good role models who can demonstrate how to gracefully express just the right amount of sinewy force. Everyone's either too pushy or too meek. You're going to have to figure out how to pull off this subtle yet momentous feat all by yourself.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "Dear Rob: Here are my New Year's resolutions. (1) I vow to Siamese-twin together my bad-ass, no-hype, wide-eyed self with my tricky, strategic, puzzle-loving self. (2) I vow to rage on like a dancing warrior in the urban wilderness, keeping peak experiences and total slaphappy victory at the top of my priority list, while at the same time I play hide-and-seek with the dark delicious secrets that fuel my soul's lust for wicked meaning. (3) I vow to deepen the collaborative efforts of my suck-out-the-marrow-and-spit-out-the-bones craziness and my listen-carefully-to-the-flow-of-the-underground-river caginess. –Double Intense Scorpio." Dear Double Intense: Scorpios everywhere will benefit from hearing your resolutions, which is why I've made them 2008's first horoscope.