By Andy Mannix
By Caleb Hannan
By Olivia LaVecchia
By CP Staff
By Aaron Rupar
By Jacob Wheeler
By Olivia LaVecchia
By Aaron Rupar
ARIES (March 21-April 19): When the Red Hot Chili Peppers released their fifth album, Blood Sugar Sex Magick, in 1991, it blasted them into rock stardom. They stopped performing at intimate nightclubs and appeared exclusively at large arenas. They won a Grammy, had a hit song at the top of the charts, and sold millions of records. Guitarist John Frusciante freaked out at the success. As an indie artist intensely loyal to the underground sensibility, he was embarrassed to be in a band that had mainstream popularity. In the middle of the Chili Peppers' tour, he quit. You may very well have to deal with a comparable development in 2008, Aries. Will you opt to remain low-profile, as Frusciante did, or will you answer the invitation to get more professional?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When China's Three Gorges Dam finally becomes fully operational in 2009, the hydroelectric power it generates will provide renewable energy to a sizable portion of the population. As a replacement for coal consumption, it will also eliminate 100 million tons of greenhouse gases. That's the good news. The bad news is that it will require a thousand towns and villages to be permanently flooded, forcing over a million people to leave their homes. I believe you may be faced with a comparable option in 2008, Taurus. If you're willing to deal with displacement and the loss of traditions, you will gain access to tremendous reserves of pure mojo.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Would you like to own a 60-inch flat-screen HDTV plasma television with surround-sound speakers? How about a $6,000 Daniel Hanson bathrobe made of silk-trimmed pashmina, a diamond-encrusted Cartier Luxury watch, and a heated toilet seat? All of these wonders and more could be within your grasp in 2008. In my astrological opinion, however, going after them would be a waste of your substantial acquisitive potential, which would be better used in pursuit of less decadent valuables. Such as? Such as tools and training that will help you upgrade your skills and refine the unique gifts you have to give the world.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): For millennia, human beings have sought and received help from spiritual beings who are imperceptible to the senses. "Among the North American Indians, but not among them alone," wrote Carl Jung's gifted student Erich Neumann (1905-1960), "the essential content of initiation is the acquisition of an individual 'guardian spirit.'" It's unfortunate that modern Western culture, still in the chokehold of the materialist delusion, makes it challenging for anyone alive today to tap into the supernatural blessings that so many of our forbears enjoyed. But I believe you will be able to overcome this disadvantage in 2008, Cancerian. There's a good chance you will figure out what it takes to establish direct communion with a spiritual ally.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Picture a full-grown lion with a thin, two-foot-long string tied around one of its back legs. The other end of the string is tethered to a short wooden stake lodged in the dirt. The lion seems to think it's held captive, and never tries to escape. It's restless and frustrated, periodically emitting a doleful sound that's both a pained growl and a mournful whine. I want you to think of this scene at least once a month in 2008, Leo. Each time, ask yourself, "Am I the lion that Rob Brezsny described?" Make sure you always know that you can snap the string with ease and bound away to freedom.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The desert-dwelling creosote bush can survive for centuries on little water. In the Mohave Desert there is a ring of creosote, named "King Clone," whose age has been carbon-dated at 11,700 years. The hardiness of this low-maintenance wonder reminds me of you, Virgo. You sometimes entertain the fantasy that the less you need, the stronger you'll be. The downside of this attitude is that you may unwittingly make it hard for people to give you their gifts. The upside is that you've learned many secrets about how to nurture and take care of yourself. But in 2008, I foresee you making a shift away from the creosote bush metaphor. You're more likely to resemble a tomato bush that gets watered regularly.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Lake Vostok is as big as Lake Ontario, but no one on earth knew about it until 1996. Scientists who had been drilling through Antarctica's thick sheets of ice discovered it two miles below the surface. Here's what they were able to find out about the ancient lake: Hermetically sealed off for at least a half million years, it gets no sunlight, has an average temperature below zero, and may harbor life forms as exotic as those on other planets. And yes, it's in a liquid state, for reasons you can read about at tinyurl.com/2lq79d. All that, Libra, is prelude to the following announcement: Lake Vostok will be one of your Prime Metaphors in 2008. I predict you will dig deep to discover an ancient, pristine mystery at the bottom of your life. In my astrological opinion, you should explore it thoroughly, driven by both an innocent sense of wonder and a robust analytical curiosity.
Find everything you're looking for in your city
Find the best happy hour deals in your city
Get today's exclusive deals at savings of anywhere from 50-90%
Check out the hottest list of places and things to do around your city