By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A group of us decided to throw a party. The Sagittarian among us, Rosa, insisted on being in charge of supplying the desserts. She feared that if anyone else handled this task, there wouldn't be enough, and they wouldn't be sweet enough or rich enough or decadent enough. To make sure the delectable treats were available in rapturous abundance, she felt she could only trust herself. In this spirit, I appoint you to be the sweet, rich, decadent dessert-provider for the entire world in the coming weeks. I'm using "desserts" in both the literal and metaphorical senses.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Among modern Baghdad's most prominent architectural features are its blast walls. These omnipresent concrete barriers shield buildings from truck bombs and random gunfire. They were nothing but oppressive eyesores up until a few months ago, when a team of 40 artists began covering them with brightly colored murals that depict idyllic landscapes and glorious scenes from Iraqi history. Your next assignment, Capricorn, is to try an equivalent conversion. Add beauty to something ugly; bring a light touch and a creative spirit to a troublesome situation; dress up your defense mechanisms in silk and gold.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Let's meditate on events that have an impact at a great distance from their origins. For instance, African dust reaches Florida, raising pollution levels, just as particulate matter from China floats over to sully California's skies. Here's another example: The CIA played a major role in overthrowing the democratically elected prime minister of Iran in 1953, and this is still wreaking chaos on the current relationship between the U.S. and Iran. In the coming week, Aquarius, I predict your life will provide another example of this theme, although in your case the long-range influence is likely to be far more benign than the other cases I cited—possibly even downright benevolent.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Open your minds, sweethearts," begins the soothing rant of enlightenment advisor Dvorah Adler (Dvorahji.com). "Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. It's time for you to hear the big secret of the ages, the radical truth of truths that only the wisest gurus and avatars and grandmothers are brave enough to reveal. Are you ready? Here it is: 'SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY!'" I'm pleased to convey Dvorah's ancient truth to you, Pisces, because it's what you need to hear right now. So please, darlings: Shout, whisper, or sing "SHUT UP!" to all the voices in your head that are so addicted to saying "What am I doing wrong?", "When will I finally be happy?", and "Why can't everything be perfect forever?" The fact is, you are exactly where you need to be, and everything is proceeding with mysterious grace.
In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES designed to inspire you. To buy access, go to RealAstrology.com.