The Full MOA

Think Black Friday was bad? Try living at the Mall of America for a whole week

7:12: I sit on a bench in the amusement park, casually emitting high-pitched, tortured screams.

7:15: An Alan Thicke clone tells me, "Stop that nonsense."

8:00: I drag myself to Caribou Coffee and start scribbling paranoid jeremiads in my notebook.

9:30: I exit the north doors and mosey through the busily emptying parking lot to my car. I feel worn-out and ill. But free.


EXPENSE REPORT

Day One

  • McDonald's breakfast platter, orange juice: $7.09
  • Thai Kitchen: $7.43
  • Teavana, Mate Vana tea: $2.13
  • Aquafina water: $1.48
  • Tiger Sushi: $14.44

Day Two

  • Arby's: $8.92
  • Movie ticket, American Gangster (matinee): $6
  • Caribou Coffee, coffee: $2.03
  • Asian Chao: $9.04

Day Three

  • Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., Shrimper's Heaven platter: $24.32
  • Pedicure/manicure, Nail Trix, Inc.: $50
  • Cold Stone, chocolate ice cream cone: $3.80

Day Four

  • Park at MoA Unlimited Ride Wristband Voucher: $24.95
  • KFC Express, sandwich meal: $7.21
  • Underwater Adventures tour: $8.50
  • Aqua Massage, 10 minutes: $8
  • Caribou Coffee, 6 coffees: $12.18
  • Oxynate, oxygen/massage: $21.33

Day Five

  • Starbucks in Barnes & Noble, coffee: $1.89
  • Hooters, fish sandwich, one beer: $20.09
  • Stadium Sports Grill, hamburger: $10.80

Day Six

  • Long John Silver's platter: $9.96
  • Caribou Coffee, 3 coffees: $6.09
  • Sbarro, pepperoni slice, drink: $6.21
  • Kokomo's Island Café: $58.02

Day Seven

  • Famous Dave's, ribs: $12.05
  • NASCAR Silicon Motor Speedway Racing Center, one race: $9.87
  • Cousins Sub: $8.08

Total: $404.16

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