By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your astrological omens are similar to those experienced by Oscar-winning actress Judi Dench back in February 2002. At that time, she was moved to make a dramatic revelation to film mogul Harvey Weinstein. In the midst of a party, she pulled down her pants to reveal her naked ass, revealing a temporary lipstick tattoo that read "I love Harvey Weinstein." I'm guessing you might be inspired to unveil a comparable surprise in the coming days, Sagittarius. At the very least, I expect you'll find some intriguing ways to express your affection and demonstrate your ardor.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here are a few of the improvements I expect you to have accomplished by the end of August: a panoramic view of what's beneath the tip of the iceberg; a more useful relationship with obsession; the cutting of a knot that has tied you up for far too long; the resurrection of a seemingly extinct dream; the beginning of the end of what you love to hate; and hot discussions about the Three Things That Have Rarely or Never Been Talked About.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It's the Season of Burning, Churning Yearning. Here are three of the most important things I've ever told you about how to get what you need. (1) If you don't precisely articulate your conscious desires, your unconscious patterns will come true instead. (2) If you want your conscious desires to trump your unconscious patterns, speak or write your conscious desires every day. (3) It's better to have three huge, soaring, potent desires than 25 puny, scrabbling, half-assed desires.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ron is down to six cups of coffee a day, which is much healthier than his previous 15-cup habit. We, his friends, might wish it wasn't because he joined an ascetic cult that wants him to get into top physical shape in order to fight the evil reptilian extraterrestrials that have taken over the bodies of corporate and governmental leaders. But hey, whatever works. Likewise, Pisces, this is a favorable time for you to resort to just about any legal measure in order to break the grip of your bad habits — even if that involves substituting some rather exotic new habits for the ones you need to eliminate.