Savage Love

I'm a straight male in my early 30s and I have a very small dick. For five years I've been hiring attractive hookers to play with my dick and tell me how it could never satisfy them and basically humiliate me verbally. I now find myself in a "normal" relationship with a cute, relatively vanilla girl who I couldn't possibly ask to satisfy my bizarre fetish.

Being verbally humiliated about my small dick exacerbated another problem: a psychological block that prevents me from believing I can satisfy a woman. My girlfriend says the sex is great—I last for hours because I can't come through normal vaginal intercourse—and I'm great at eating her tasty little pussy, which I love to do. I don't want to go back to hookers, but I can't bring myself to share my "fetish" about my desire to be humiliated with regard to my tiny cock. Any thoughts?

Shrink Wrapped In Chicago

First, SWIC, you can satisfy a woman—you are satisfying a woman—but don't take my word for it, or your girlfriend's. Take the word of Savage Love guest expert extraordinaire Alice Dreger, a faculty member of the Medical Humanities and Bioethics Program at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. Responding to a man with a small dick in this space last year, Dreger cited a study showing that small-dicked men often have "close and long-lasting relationships" with women. The women studied attributed their sexual satisfaction to the extra effort their partners went to during oral or nonpenetrative sex. Sounds like you're one of those very satisfying, extra-effort guys. So buck up.

That said, SWIC, if being verbally humiliated about your tiny cock turns your tiny crank, fucking go for it. Your dick caused you nothing but grief for years; don't deny yourself whatever pleasure you've learned to take in it now. But before you go back to those attractive hookers, SWIC, risk telling your girlfriend about this fetish. You do the things that satisfy her and I'll bet she's just as interested in doing the things that satisfy you. But she can't do those things if you don't trust her enough to tell her what they are.

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