By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
DVD: Dragon Dynasty series
Four films by kung-fu kings the Shaw Brothers make their disc debut: The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (right), King Boxer, My Young Auntie, and One-Armed Swordsman. Everybody from the Wu-Tang Clan to Quentin Tarantino was influenced by these violent '70s pics. RZA and the Pulp Fiction director even provide commentary on a couple of them. Alas, not together.
TV: Godzilla Invasion!
We can't think of a better way to spend the Fourth of July than with everybody's favorite giant radioactive lizard stomping the hell out of Tokyo. Encore Action presents a daylong marathon of Godzilla movies starting at 9:00 a.m. Wednesday. The fire-breathing star takes on such winged and multi-headed foes as Ghidorah, Spacegodzilla, and Mechagodzilla.
Jackass's Chris Nieratko penned this amusing porn guide, in which he surveys more than 150 XXX flicks without ever actually reviewing them. Instead, he spends entire chapters discussing his personal life. The Cum Fart Cocktails entry chronicles his own gassy escapades, while Assault That Ass's analysis centers on a story about a girl who OD'ed on his coke stash. But Nieratko's enthusiasm for sharing private tales makes up for the handbook's uselessness. We're still not sure if we want to see 1001 Ways to Eat My Jizz, Vol. 1.
DVD: Tutenstein and Kenny the Shark
These Discovery Channel programs feature just enough sass and pop-culture jabs to appeal to adult animation fans. The latter stars a walking, talking tiger shark that somehow ends up a suburban family's pet. But Tutenstein's the real discovery: A resurrected 10-year-old mummy unravels an entire museum staff with his selfish ways. A talking cat and soul-sucking beasts from the netherworld figure into the mix.
CD: Unbreakable (A Retrospective)
The Afghan Whigs dabbled in a bunch of different styles during their '90s heyday: post-punk, grunge, R&B. But they were at their best when leader Greg Dulli sang about being a dick. This 18-song compilation includes tracks from their Sub Pop, Elektra, and Columbia albums—with plenty of space given to career milestone Gentlemen.
Boorish behavior never rocked so hard.
COURTESY FLUSH, PLEASE: Touch the Dead
We're all for first-person-shooter video games—especially on the Nintendo DS, where the genre is criminally underrepresented. But this dull and sorta sluggish outing features a tired zombies-in-prison storyline and repetitive play—load, aim, shoot, repeat. Plus, levels and weapons are extremely limited, resulting in action that's often as lethargic as the walking dead.