By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "The Only Three Questions That Count" is the title of a book by Ken Fisher. I'm stealing it to use as the theme of your horoscope. So your next assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to craft three essential questions that will guide your journey between now and the end of 2007. These queries should excite your natural curiosity about the life issues that matter most to you. They should be carefully and precisely formulated. And they should motivate you to keep your mind wide open and hungry as you hunt for more insight into your most bafflingly interesting mysteries.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It's about time you got the chance to be knocked on your ass by a flood of positive surprises and good feelings. I hope you're trusting enough to go with the tidal flow, even if it does temporarily render you a bit woozy. Naturally you'd like to know if this giddy surrender will land you in trouble. Is there any chance that you'll have to endure some karmic adjustment at a later date because of the fun you're having now? Here's my prediction: absolutely not. If anything, your enthusiastic cooperation with the free-form dazzle will shield you from any negative repercussions.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): For years I made my home in a Northern Californian city called San Rafael. Near the end of my time there, I discovered that the Miwok Indians who lived in the area for hundreds of years before the white men stole it had a different name for it: Nanaguani. I was embarrassed that it had taken me so long to know such a fundamental fact about my own neighborhood. Make this the starting point for your assignment this week, Gemini, which is to learn more about the origins of the people and places and things that are most important to you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Reality is not all it's cracked up to be. Just because millions of people suffer from the same hallucinations doesn't mean those hallucinations are objectively true. I share Salvador Dali's perspective: "One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams." For these reasons and many more, I don't automatically dismiss people who live in their own fantasy worlds. Their dreamy concoctions may be no more deluded than those of normal people, and might be far more fun and amusing. Everything I just said is a preface for the main point of this horoscope, Cancerian, which is to give you temporary license to escape into the most beautiful mirage you can conjure up. Love your fantastic visions. Let your imagination run far, far away with you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The members of the Superbroke Brass and Tin and Strings Electric Marching Band Ensemble wrote to me at my MySpace page. "We're here to fight the Evil Anti-Groove," they said, "to liberate the SuperFlow of the Universe, and to loosen the Sphincter of the Collective Unconscious. I hope you'll march with us some day." I bring this to your attention, Leo, because your mission in the coming weeks should be much the same as theirs. Your personal success and satisfaction will be directly tied to how skilled you are at enhancing the well-being of your group, tribe, or community.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "Welcome to the never-ending brainstorm session," reads an advertisement for Barclays Bank, one of the most successful financial institutions in the world. It's an approach that has some similarities to the ethic that prevails at Toyota, the company that makes the world's best-selling car. Its core principle is kaizen, a Japanese word meaning "continuous improvement," though it can also be translated as "to take apart and put back together in a better way." A blend of these attitudes is what I recommend to you during the coming weeks, Virgo: kaizen meets the never-ending brainstorm.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion," wrote psychologist Carl Jung. That should be your motto in the coming week, Libra. Clear thinking and impeccable logic will not be sufficient to guide you to your next great adventure. You need the driving force of succulent emotion rising up in your solar plexus, the lush power of raw sensitivity piercing your heart. Feel as deep as you dare.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Last year the top hedge fund managers in the U.S. earned an average of $363 million a year. I haven't been able to determine what percentage of those plutocrats are Scorpios. But whatever the number is, I predict it'll rise during the remaining months of 2007. The members of your tribe–not just in the upper crust, but those of all crusts–are poised for the greatest financial upgrade in years. And one of the most favorable periods for expansion is dead ahead.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This week may feel like a far-off trumpet playing mournfully at dawn as you awaken from a dream about buying pomegranates in a seedy but oddly appealing open-air market in Morocco. It could also resemble the sensation of talking on the phone long-distance to a person you both love and hate as rain falls on a metal roof and you gaze at a lunar eclipse that's breaking through a round hole in the cloud cover. In other words, Sagittarius, it'll be a time that's rich in hard-to-classify emotions. I expect you'll have experiences that will both spook you and energize you, both mesmerize you and liberate you.