By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Valentine Daze, Aries! On this lover's holiday, let's see what we can do to purge some of your old romantic karma. With a cleaner slate, you'll be freer to create the kind of love you really want in the future. To begin, write a list of the worst sins you've committed against your ex-intimates. Include behavior that was ignorant, cruel, or unconscious. Next, think of atonements you might make for the hurtful things you did. For instance, you could send your ex an "I'm sorry for the craziness our relationship caused you" letter. Finally, Aries, forgive yourself of your errors.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus! During this lover's holiday, I encourage you to devote yourself full-time to acting like a person who's in love. Even if you're not currently in the throes of passion for a special someone, pretend you are. Everywhere you go, exude that charismatic blend of shell-shocked contentment and blissful turmoil that comes over you when you're infatuated. Let everyone you meet soak up the delicious wisdom you exude. Dispense free blessings and extra slack like a rich saint high on natural endorphins. (I assure you that this assignment is in perfect accord with the astrological omens.)
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! I hope you'll be very specific about what you want from intimacy and collaboration in the coming months. To get you in the mood, I've written a personal ad for you to use. Or create your own, borrowing from the spirit of mine. Here you go. Slapstick thinker with refined sensibilities seeks a saint-like sinner with insanely cool style for a long-distance joyride towards the outskirts of Nirvana. Established meditation practice and a good bedside manner are desirable. Would it be too much to ask that you might also have a high level of emotional intelligence without boring me to death with your maturity? Is it possible that you'll be an entertaining talker who also knows how to listen with your wild heart turned up all the way? Let's keep reinventing ourselves forever.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian! I sing a sly WOW toward the sky and murmur a resonant YOW toward the earth in rowdy reverent gratitude for the wonders that come your way from the special people in your life. I send out a special YAYA and GAGA to that Mysterious Other who has the power to challenge you, teach you, confound you, inspire you, and love you almost as well as you love yourself. Long may your story unfold in all of its enigmatic glory! Long may you liberate each other from your suffering!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Leo! I predict that more love will flow into your life in the future. Why? Because beginning now, you will remove the obstructions that have been interfering with that flow. That's not all. More love will flow into your life because you'll decide that you are actually very lovable–more lovable than you've previously acknowledged. That's not all. More love will flow into your life because you will vow to invoke in yourself a tremendous surge of willpower that will make you hungry to give love, to bestow blessings, and to extend favors. You'll derive deep pleasure, a real libidinous thrill, from radiating generous emotions in all directions.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "You've been walking the ocean's edge, holding up your robes to keep them dry," writes Coleman Barks in his translation of the 13th-century poet Rumi. What he means is that you've been too tentative and inhibited in your relationship with the tidal forces of love; you've been holding back from giving your total devotion to the primal power that fuels the universe. "You must dive naked under and deeper under," Barks and Rumi continue, "a thousand times deeper!" Consider taking the poets' advice, Virgo. If you can't manage diving a thousand times deeper, try to least make it a hundred times. Happy Valentine Daze!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! After careful meditation about what advice might help you expand your experience of intimacy, I've decided to offer you the following meditation. "Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly. It wants to rip to shreds all your erroneous notions of truth that make you fight within yourself, and with others." So writes Daniel Ladinsky in his translation of a poem by Hafiz. Love, he continues, "sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out." That's a pretty good description of where I think you are in your current relationship with love, Libra. I hope you're brave enough to cooperate with its gift.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Happy Valentine Daze, Scorpio! I dare you to up the ante in your relationship with a special someone who both frustrates and inspires you. One way to do that might be to say the following to that person: "We are pain and what cures pain, both. We are the sweet cold water and the jar that pours. I want to hold you close like a lute, so that we can cry out with loving. Would you rather throw stones at a mirror? I am your mirror and here are the stones." (This passage was written by the 13th-century poet Rumi and translated by Coleman Barks.)