Savage Love

Not Coming Around

MARLA: It's a commonly cited statistic that 70 percent of women don't orgasm from intercourse alone, so one question is whether your husband and previous sex partners have provided you with enough clitoral stimulation with their hands, mouths, plush toys, etc., for you to orgasm. You haven't given yourself much clitoral stimulation either if you've only masturbated a few times.

Putting pressure on yourself with expectations from you or your husband isn't going to help the situation any. But putting pressure on yourself with a Hitachi Magic Wand or other vibrators may help a whole lot! Vibrators are so popular these days that it's only a matter of time until Apple comes out with cute white iVibes that let you listen to music, make cell-phone calls, send e-mail, and watch YouTube videos all while stimulating your clitoris. Until then, there are great options available online at and Take some time to experiment on your own with what feels good. If that works for you, you can incorporate it into sex with your husband.

STEVE: If you still can't orgasm, you should talk to your doctor because there are a few hormone disorders, medications you may be on, or other medical conditions that can prevent orgasm. Some might say to start with this step, but quality time with a new vibrator is more fun than talking to your doctor about this issue, and might just be the cure. Plus, you can get a vibrator delivered to your door faster than you can get an appointment with most HMO doctors.

DAN: Marla and Steve's joint response to NCA was exhaustive, helpful, and informative. Hell, I learned a thing or two. A+. But their response lacked the bile, invective, profanity, tangents, and poop jokes that are the hallmark of a true advice professional at work. My job is saved!

For more from Marla and Steve—Marla explains why breastfeeding is the "best" birth-control option; Steve and Marla lay into one total douche—go to

A new Savage Love podcast is available for download every Tuesday at

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