Kinda Blue

Have gun, will unravel: My life as a fake cop

That was before a television reporter named Lisa walked into the kitchen of a suburban rambler and got gunned down by a man holding a crying baby. Sullivan knowingly smirked at the notion of shooting a gun out of someone's hand and said, "When these guys get shot in movies and they die right away...that never, ever happens [in the real world]." Then he told the story about how one Minneapolis officer was killed from 50 yards away: "The guy was lying down. He sat up, took one shot, the bullet entered the officer's chin, went straight to the back of his spinal cord, and he died on the spot. Bad guys are lucky that way. Cops think about that all the time."

That was before my brain locked up in that parking lot and my arm fell to my side and I started thinking about what I was going to have for dinner and my olfactory glands and memory buds kicked in and I could almost smell the home fires, and then the gun swung toward me and all I could see was the rage on the guy's face. That was before another reporter, a professional observer of the human condition who presumably gets paid to notice big and small details, said of the semi-automatic rifle on the guy's shoulder, "I thought it was an umbrella."

Drop the gun or I'll pretend to shoot!
Jim Walsh
Drop the gun or I'll pretend to shoot!

Jim Walsh can be reached at 612.372.3775 or

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