By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Harper's Index says the U.S. government spends more than twice as much on military defense than do Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran combined. The aggregate population of those four countries, on the other hand, is five times larger than America's 300 million people. One might reasonably conclude, therefore, that while the U.S. has a right to safeguard itself, its glut of weaponry is absurdly extreme. I'm not definitively asserting, Capricorn, that you, too, are over-invested in defending and protecting your interests, but the astrological omens suggest it's a possibility. Please look into it. In any case, consider freeing up some of your contracted, fearful energy and directing it toward more pleasurable and constructive goals.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some Christians believe Jesus will come back to fix this corrupt world. Certain Jewish sects propose that the messiah will soon appear on earth for the first time. Among Muslims, many predict the legendary 12th Imam will return and bring salvation to humanity. In India, devotees of Vishnu expect the avatar Kalki to arrive on the scene and carry out a miraculous redemption. Even the Buddhists prophesy Maitreya, the chosen one who'll establish universal peace. Personally, I suspect that the whole point of our spectacularly confounding moment in history is that each of us must become our own savior. The coming year will be an excellent time, Aquarius, for you to master the art of doing just that: being your own savior. And it all starts now. (P.S. You can perform a great service by being a role model for those who haven't yet figured out how to be their own saviors.)
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In Cracker's hit song "Where Have Those Days Gone," singer David Lowery recounts a road trip he made through his old haunts in California. "In Mendocino County, I thought I saw Thomas Pynchon at the end of the bar," he croons. "No, that's just Rob Brezsny writing his astrology column." While in the past I've been confused with David Duchovny, Peter Coyote, and Ry Cooder, this marks the first time I've been mistaken for the great novelist Pynchon. Thanks, David. Now it's time for you Pisceans to find out what celebrity you resemble. The omens say it's perfect moment for you to identify with a hero, role model, or famous mover and shaker. To do so might help free your self-image from the unheroic confines it has gotten stuck in. Go here to investigate: http://tinyurl.com/c4x23.
In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES designed to inspire you. To buy access, go to RealAstrology.com.